Monday, January 18, 2010


The first part of the top 10 was pretty difficult to rank because I hate all these people pretty much equally. I think I got a pretty accurate list, though.


Michael Bay didn't annoy me too much when he was just making stupid blockbusters with zero plot, inane dialogue and bad acting. I'll even admit to enjoying the first Transformers because I just wanted to see shit get blown up, and that's what I got. However, someone (who's getting a throat punch when I find out who they are) got it into Michael Bay's head that it was acceptable for him to start remaking (a.k.a fucking up) classic slasher flicks. Friday the 13th? Nightmare on Elm Street? TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE? Thank GOD someone nixed his CGI remakes of The Birds and Rosemary's Baby. I may have cried.


She always annoyed me. I know she won an Oscar, but I never thought she could act all that well. First she kind of scared me when she used to go around wearing blood and playing with knives, and making out with her brother (EW). Then all of a sudden she did this total 180 and started collecting kids like some people collect stamps, and doing all this crap with the UN. She's just totally fake, and it bugs the shit out of me. Everyone seems to have completely forgotten that she stole Brad Pitt from Jennifer Aniston while they were still married. And speaking of Brad Pitt, I also hate Angelina Jolie because she is single-handedly responsible for aging him twenty years in six months with their eleven kids. It's like Benjamin Button really happened, but backward!

You're not fooling anyone.

Enough with this guy. He's such an arrogant prick that I can't even tell where his ass ends and his head begins. He constantly flaunts all his money, but I actually don't think he realizes that that's the only thing he has going for him. His hair is totally ridiculous- I've seen better combovers on a Ken doll. I'm surprised his daughter turned out the way she did- she's actually really smart and good-looking, which is a miracle in itself. She must not have listened to him at all when she was growing up.



Ashton Kutcher was actually pretty funny on That 70's Show, but then he decided he wanted his own career, and that's when he started annoying me. First he had that obnoxious MTV show where he screamed all the time and played jokes on celebrities that actually weren't that funny. Then he ushered in that asinine trucker hat trend- that wasn't even attractive on truckers. He made shitty movie after shitty movie and if that weren't bad enough, once Twitter came out, he started drilling his daily activities into our brains, one 140-character update at a time. Ugh, LEAVE. Disappear into space. Retire to a private island or something. Just GO.


Destiny's Child sucked, but at least I could deal with them when they were just making videos on MTV, when MTV was still relevant. Then they broke up, and Beyonce emerged from the fire and ashes to torment me all on her own. Her music is horrible- pick any one of her singles; I guarantee that I can't stand it. The worst part about her is that she thinks she's really important- if there's a red carpet event, she's there, even if she has nothing to do with whatever the event is for. I'm serious; she would go to the opening of a window. The worst offense is when she sang Etta James' "At Last" at Obama's Inauguration. Couldn't they have gotten someone more appropriate like, I don't know, ETTA JAMES? Just a thought. Beyonce- we get it! You're alive! WE SEE YOU! I wish she'd go away just for like, a year. Just give the world a recovery period, and then hopefully we'll forget all about her.

"A door is opening? I'll be right there!"

My list is almost done, so come back in a few days for the top 5. I know, you're THAT excited.

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