Oh, Canada! (Nugs vs. Allison 2013 Edition: Round 2)

Round 1 of the NHL playoffs ended yesterday, and my Rangers are still around! Unfortunately for Allison, her Habs didn't make it, but that could be because she lives right near Toronto where she's not allowed to like the Habs. Canadians seem confused. 

Anyway, Round 2 starts tonight with Pittsburgh vs. Ottawa at 7:30 and San Jose vs. LA at 10:00, so our Semifinal picks are going up today. You can see Allison's version on her blog, My Quarter-Life Crisis. We're awarding each other one point for each correct guess in the first two rounds, two points for each in the Finals, and three for the Stanley Cup. Whoever comes out ahead (HAHAHAHA. "Ahead.") gets a hockey-related gift from the loser. So far, just like with last year, I'm winning again. 

Shame on you, Allison. Canada can't claim much, but at least you guys should have hockey. If not, you pretty much get flannel shirts. And Bieber.

Here's a recap of the Quarterfinals, pretending you guys care, and a roundup of our forecasts of the Semifinals. As always, Al is in blue; mine are in red.

NUGS vs. ALLISON, ROUND 1:

EASTERN CONFERENCE

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS over NEW YORK ISLANDERS 

While we both called this one, I can honestly say that watching the Isles play gave me serious doubts. This turned out to be one of the most entertaining series in the entire postseason. The Isles will definitely become a force next year, thanks to John Tavares and the rest of his line. The Islanders definitely earned some respect from their fans and their opponents, and they've become a team to look out for in the seasons to come.

POINT: BOTH

OTTAWA SENATORS over MONTREAL CANADIENS

Personally I don't give a shit about either of these teams because they're Canadian and I'm not, but everyone assumed that Montreal would take this and then they didn't. 

Canadians are weird. They're all nice and stuff and say "sorry" all the time and then when they play hockey they beat the living crap out of each other. Also sometimes they take themselves REALLY seriously.

POINT: NEITHER

NEW YORK RANGERS over WASHINGTON CAPITALS 

Oh, you mean the CRAPITALS????

Now that we're safely onto the Semis, I can move onto my next round of stress-inducing coronaries. So we won, but barely. I predicted six games, but we were again forced into 7. Fortunately, the seventh game barely registered and the Craps didn't even make it onto the board. It was quite sad, really. The Craps didn't even allow themselves to die with dignity- Ovechkin later had this to say about their elimination:

Ovi on refs: "Not saying there was a phone call, but they wanted Game 7. For ratings. You know, lockout, escrow, league must make profit"

I hope this year's MVP votes aren't already in. He should be traded to Philly. 

Anyway, the Blueshirts won, and that's what counts. I'll no longer have to look at Holtby's smug dick face every time he makes a save. Also on the plus side, Bobby and I can be friends again. 

RANGERS FOREVER.

POINT: BOTH

BOSTON BRUINS over TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS 

It's not so much that the Bruins won, but it's that the series ended the way that it did. Tabs actually cried when Toronto got knocked off, which I completely respect because this makes her a true fan. The Leafs played an entire round, bringing in a Game 7 that resulted in an OT win for Boston.

The question remains, though- was this a result of an incredible Quarterfinal show for the Leafs, or was Boston way off their game (no pun intended)? I'm going with the latter. I'd like to believe that Toronto is on their way to becoming more of a postseason mainstay, but somehow I think they just got hot at the right time and were met with a Bruins lineup that was a little shaken up.

POINT: BOTH

WESTERN CONFERENCE

CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS over MINNESOTA WILD

Honestly, I'm surprised Minnesota won one game. You can blame injuries all you want, but the fact remains that Chicago is the much better team. Not only would they probably have defeated any team they played in the first round, but they will more than likely win the Cup this year. The Wild, who lack effectiveness and experience, never had a chance.

POINT: BOTH

DETROIT REDWINGS over ANAHEIM DUCKS

I'm especially proud of this one because everyone thought I was clinically insane for predicting that the Wings would win. Essentially, my precognition was that Detroit's crazy power forwards would prevail over Anaheim's nasty goaltending, and that turned out to be accurate. It was a great series and an intense matchup- it went to Game 7, just like I suspected. 

POINT: ME

SAN JOSE SHARKS over VANCOUVER CANUCKS

What the fuck? Can anyone explain how this happened?

POINT: NEITHER

LOS ANGELES KINGS over ST. LOUIS BLUES

Honestly, this could have gone either way. The Blues were eliminated by LA last year, so I knew they would be out for blood this time around. After St. Louis took the first two in a row, I thought that Allison may have gotten this point. LA came back though, and the series went to six games. The Blues played well, and tied the series, but eventually Quick's intense goaltending skills and LA's overall defense led to their advancement. 

POINT: ME

QUARTERFINALS POINTS TALLY: 

NUGS 6, ALLISON 4

NUGS vs. ALLISON, ROUND 2:

EASTERN CONFERENCE

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS vs. OTTAWA SENATORS

NUGS: PENS over SENS in 6

I totally overestimated the Pens- or underestimated the Islanders- and had them demolishing their opponents in 5 games in the Quaterfinals. While the Pens ultimately won the first round, it was an uphill struggle, with the Isles definitely outplaying them in a couple of games. While the Pens' Crosby-Malkin line is still arguably the most formidable on the ice, Fleury proved to be less than stellar in the net once again and wound up getting pulled in favor of their back-up goalie. Meanwhile, John Tavares and his Isles struck a significant amount of fear into the Pens and their fans- look for them in many more postseasons to come. 

Many still seem to think that the Pens are on their way to what would be their second Stanley Cup in under 5 years. GM Ray Shero is making the correct moves, starting Vokoun in goal for tonight's first game at the Consol. 

The Sens, however, are a crapshoot- did they advance due to their own athletic abilities or because the Habs played like total shit? Sorry Allison- I know you love them, but I watched a few of those games. Except for that one matchup where everyone on the ice got in a fight, which was amazing, I really wasn't that impressed.

One thing the Sens do have in their corner is their goalie, Craig Anderson, who had a 1.49 GAA and is a Vezina Trophy finalist. Also it helps that when you add a letter to their name, "Sens" doesn't come out as "Penis."

Just sayin.

Also "Sens" and "Pens" rhyme and that's funny.

Based solely on my observations of both teams in the Quarterfinals, I'm going to give this to the Pens. However, it will go to a Game 6.

ALLISON: SENS over PENS

I'm basing this purely on my round one observations. The Pens did not destroy the Isles as I had originally predicted. Yeah, they won the series, but NYI really did put up a fight. The Sens were extremely determined during their series against my beloved Habs. They pretty much killed us. There was no mercy. Sens are coming off of a pretty awesome win, and Pittsburgh is coming off of a struggle - I'm giving this one to Ottawa.

NEW YORK RANGERS vs. BOSTON BRUINS

NUGS: MY BLUESHIRTS over STUPID BOO-URNS in 7

This is not a biased answer because I die for the Rangers and loathe the Bruins. It happens to be a formal, educated guess based on my knowledge of the sport and my observations of Round 1. 

And it's also a biased answer because I die for the Rangers and loathe the Bruins.

Boston could barely get out of a Quarterfinal round vs. the Leafs. I mean, really? Everyone was predicting a sweep and they went into an OT Game 7. The Bruins are generally very good but they almost fell to a team that hasn't won anything in almost 50 years and doesn't even realize that "Leafs" isn't even a real word. Well played, Boston. Well played.

Meanwhile, my boys succeeded in giving me another stroke this year by being forced into seven games again; fortunately Game 7 against the Craps barely even registered. We totally schooled Ovenchicken and his stupid Crapitals, and we're definitely ready to take on the Bruins. If they could hardly triumph over the Leafs, there's NO CHANCE they'll be victorious against us.

What concerns me about this matchup is that in Round 1, both of us struggled to defeat teams that we should have eclipsed in six games or less. This will make for a solid Round 2, and will cue a string of small heart attacks for me.

ALLISON: RANGERS over BRUINS

Now that the Bruins have embarrassed the Leafs successfully, I can go back to hating their stupid faces and throw this one to the Rangers.

Editor's Note: Strongly agree. I was saying Boo-Urns.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS vs. DETROIT REDWINGS

NUGS: HAWKS over WINGS in 6

Chicago is the team in the West that most NHL fans and analysts believe have a chance to take home the Cup. They lost 12 games all season and dominated Minnesota in the Quarterfinals. 

Now that they're matched against postseason stalwarts Detroit, expect at least 6 games in this series. Not only do the Redwings have a couple of unnerving forwards in Datsyuk and Zetterberg, but their defense is getting scarier as well. 

The Redwings are also very familiar with the NHL postseason, having made 22 consecutive appearances. Both teams are recent Cup winners- the Wings in '08 and the Hawks in '10- so they're both used to playing to win. This will be a very competitive series, but ultimately, the honor will go to the Hawks.

ALLISON: HAWKS over WINGS

Chicago will win the cup. P.S. Toews is hot. That is all.

Oh haaaai.

LOS ANGELES KINGS vs. SAN JOSE SHARKS

NUGS: KINGS over SHARKS in 5

I have no idea how the Sharks, perennial playoff chokers, totally swept the Canucks in the first round. That was probably a mistake. Maybe they'll win one game in San Jose, but there's no way they're advancing past the Semis.

ALLISON: KINGS over SHARKS

I have no effin' clue. I really didn't pay much attention to either of these teams much. Sure, let's go LA - why not?  Chicago will kill either of these teams in Round 3.

Keep in mind that there were a lot of upsets in the first round, so more than likely, we're totally wrong again. Let us know who you guys are rooting for in the comments below, and if you agree with our picks. Notice how I didn't say "disagree," because we don't care about that.

Oh, Canada! (Nugs vs. Allison: The 2013 NHL Postseason Edition)

Last year, Allison and I had the genius idea to predict the outcome of the NHL Postseason. We decided to do this round by round, giving each other points for whomever correctly guessed the most series. We awarded one point for the Quarterfinals and Semifinals, two for the Finals, and three for the Stanley Cup. I think? Is that how it went? At any rate, I was victorious, and Allison had to put the Bruins logo on her blog for a month.

Since we're pretending you guys cared last time, we decided to do this again. Our picks, of course, are below, and you can also read Allison's version on her blog, My Quarter-Life Crisis.

Words cannot express how eager I am for the games to start. Not only did my Rangers make it in again (just barely; thanks for the heart attack, boys), but there are a bunch of teams that we haven’t seen in the playoffs in a while. NHL fanatics will also recognize each of the Original Six, and some possible historic rivalries if some of these seeds advance. There’s also NO PHILADELPHIA, which is just amazing. No one likes the Flyers. Not even their moms.

Also also- NO NEW JERSEY. Basically the only relevant thing about this state isn’t even there anymore. Sucks for them. 

As always, Allison's forecasts are in blue; mine are in red. We're both probably completely wrong, but keep in mind that we're not getting paid so there's no money involved and no unicorns or anything like that.

EASTERN CONFERENCE

(1) PITTSBURGH PENGUINS vs. (8) NEW YORK ISLANDERS

NUGS: PENS over ISLES in 5

This is a compelling series for me because I have a rooting interest in both teams. Even though there used to be an intense rivalry between the Rangers and Islanders, the last time the Isles did anything of note at all I wasn’t even a year old. My dad, however, is a major Islanders fan, and almost sobbed with joy when they made the playoffs this year. So I would like to see them advance, and maybe even play us. That would be kind of cool. The Islanders are a good, young team with a lot of promise, and once they move to Brooklyn in 2015, a solid antagonism should re-surface between them and the Rangers.

Meanwhile, Iron Man is an obsessive Pens fan to the point where we have a bet going: whoever comes out higher this season has to wear a shirt of the other one’s team in public. I realize now how stupid this was.

While the Isles have rocked the Pens a few times this season, and they are riding on the incredible success of Center and Alternate Captain John Tavares, the Pens are probably the team in the East with the most potential to capture the 2013 Cup. They’ve been pretty much unstoppable all season, even without Sid Crosby, who still set about a thousand records this season despite missing a third of it due to a broken jaw. With the addition of Jarome Iginla, every other team in the East pretty much went, “I’m done. Night Lois.”

At the very least, I can record Iron Man’s “So Excited” dance and post it on Facebook.

Dammit.

ALLISON: PENS over ISLES

I will obviously choose Pittsburgh. Even without “The Kid” they’re a pretty dangerous team in the East.

(2) MONTREAL CANADIENS vs. (7) OTTAWA SENATORS

NUGS: HABS over SENS in 6

I knew Allison would be elated about this because when we’re not discussing coffee, all she talks about is how much she's into the Habs and how they embarrassed her last season. She probably died when they took the number two spot in the East. What makes this even better is the fact that they drew the Sens for round one, so Montreal has a pretty decent shot of advancing to the Semifinals. Ottawa has excellent defense and some noteworthy goaltending with Craig Anderson, but their top defensemen, Jason Spezza and Erik Karlsson, are still nursing their injuries. Spezza is probably out for the entire postseason, which may hurt their chances for advancement. Montreal is the clear favorite here.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if Allison and I played each other? Just sayin.

ALLISON: HABS over SENS

This is a bittersweet matchup, as I like both teams. But I must go with my one true love – Montreal. Montreal was one of the teams who really did benefit from the delayed season. We got a new coach this year who took a different approach to the team and it paid off very well. They’ve had a shaky couple of weeks leading up to the playoffs, but that final win against Toronto will hopefully give them the confidence they need to keep on going.

Editors' Note: Don't you live, like, right near Toronto? Is it even legal for you to love the Habs?

(3) WASHINGTON CAPITALS vs. (6) NEW YORK RANGERS (!!!!!!!!!)

NUGS: BLUESHIRTS over CRAPS in 6

You might be assuming that I’m going with the Rangers here because I love them and won’t shut up about how they actually made the playoffs this year even though they performed like little girls for most of the season. Actually, yes. However, this is also just like last year’s Number 3 seed, Florida, who only made the postseason at such a high level because they happen to be in a shitty division. (The same one as the Craps, FYI)

This matchup is a repeat of the 2012 semifinals, and the Rangers pulled out of that one with a heart-stopping seven games. In 2013, both of these teams got hot at just the right time and are now facing each other again.

The Caps, although commonly referred to as The Crapitals, boast Ovechkin, who finished the regular season as his old self. Their 26.8 percent power-play statistic might pose a problem for my boys, who tend to falter in that area.

The Rangers gave me an incredibly stressful four months, humiliating me by forgetting how to shoot and score goals. We also suffered through a ton of injuries and the loss of fan favorite Gabby, who got traded to Columbus after a disappointing 35 appearances and then scored them a game-winning goal. Naturally. When the season started Rangers fans figured that the Stanley Cup was a lock; now we were hoping for a top 10 finish.

Then April came around and the Rangers found their hot streak, ending the season as the sixth seed with one of the league’s best defensive units and a late season record of 10-3-1. My husband Henrik Lundqvist continued to act as one of the top goalies in the league, finishing with a 2.05 goals-against. I was totally worried that I would have to banish him to the couch this year, but I guess we can work things out.

So happy together

At the end of the series, the Rangers will come out on top (that’s what she said), and they’ll look to show the Craps that they are, in fact, the better and more able opponent. The series will go to 6 games, and I will be insufferably annoying.

ALLISON: RANGERS over CAPS

The Southeast division was a sad state of affairs and the Caps were the only team to make the playoffs. Both of these teams have been inconsistent this year – but I’ll give the Rangers the win for this series.

Editor's Note: Yeah, thanks. We're going to destroy them, and then kill anyone else we play, too.

(4) BOSTON BRUINS vs. (5) TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS

NUGS: BRUINS over LEAFS in 5

When this matchup was first announced, three thoughts went through my head:

1)   This is great because it’s an Original Six series!

B)  Tabs is probably having a stroke right now because her Leafs are in the playoffs for the first time since she can remember and

MALEFICENT) I wonder what Allison is thinking, because she hates both of these teams with the intensity of a thousand burning suns. Note to Allison: There is no option “you both lose.” I learned this the hard way during the Yankees-Phillies World Series. I don’t want Allison to disown me or anything, but it would be awesome to see a Semifinal round between the Habs and the Leafs or the Habs and the Bruins. Those are two famous rivalries that I’ve always wanted to witness in the finals. One of my favorite parts of the NHL playoffs is that Enterprise commercial with the Montreal fan and the Boston fan standing next to each other- a small nod to those who follow hockey and get the hilarity behind it.

So while I don’t particularly care for the Bruins, it would be fun to see either of these teams advance. This will be an incredible series; very physical with a lot of crowd action. Many people dislike Boston due to the fact that they like to play dirty, but they’re coming off of a dearth of postseason experience, including a Stanley Cup in 2011. The Leafs, despite a rabid fanbase, haven’t won a Cup in almost 50 years and haven’t been to the playoffs since 2004 (buying tickets like the rest of us doesn’t count). James Reimer has no postseason experience whatsoever, and the Leafs can’t seem to win at the TD Garden, considering the Bruins’ 10-12-1 record with their last 13 games. Not to mention that the word “Leafs” is a major grammar fail.

I really would like to give this to the Leafs, because the Bruins are a bunch of dicks, but I just don’t see Toronto moving forward.

PS- It's Tabs' birthday today. Since her team probably won't win tomorrow, feel free to visit her blog and leave her inappropriate comments and pictures of adorable puppies.

ALLISON: BRUINS over LEAFS

This is so tough because I so passionately dislike both of these teams. Since Leaf fans are more annoyingly close to me in proximity, I’d like to see them go out in the first round. I reluctantly choose Boston to win this one. Plus they’re the better team. There’s no option for them to both be eliminated in the first round, which is too bad.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

(1) CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS vs. (8) MINNESOTA WILD

NUGS: HAWKS over WILD in 4

I don’t really think this is a question here. I could go into a whole long thing (again, that’s what she said), but I’ll just link you to this.

Yeah, no.

ALLISON: HAWKS over WILD

Obviously I’m picking Chicago. They were pretty much unstoppable this season.

(2) ANAHEIM DUCKS vs. (7) DETROIT RED WINGS

NUGS: WINGS over DUCKS in 7

This was a difficult series for me to call. Most of my friends were divided. I originally said “definitely Wings,” then I wasn’t so sure, then I went back to the Wings again (in my defense, everyone should always go straight for the wings). While everyone was so focused on the Blackhawks and their miracle season, Anaheim was quietly climbing their way to the second place spot in the West, with 30 wins and 12 losses. Meanwhile, the Red Wings managed to make their way into the playoffs for a 22^nd straight year, despite a lackluster regular season.

The Ducks will put up an impressive fight, since this is most likely Teemu Selanne’s final season and he’ll be looking to go out with a win. First-year goalie Viktor Fasth has been great in the net, so the key to winning this series will be Detroit’s killer forwards in Henrik Zetterberg and Pavel Datsyuk.

Anaheim clearly has a first-rate coach in Bruce Boudreau, but his playoff history is shaky, as he’s never made it past the second round. The Wings have four Stanley Cups, with the most recent one in 2008. This is a tough series to predict, but I’m leaning towards experience with this one.

ALLISON: DUCKS over WINGS

The Ducks were pretty lethal this year as well. As much as I’d like to see Detriot rise again, I’m giving this one to the Ducks. (Man, I wish they were still the Mighty Ducks).

Editor's Note: Agreed. Remember this?



Please let this happen. 

(3) VANCOUVER CANUCKS vs. (6) SAN JOSE SHARKS

NUGS: CANUCKS over SHARKS in 5

Much like last year, I really want to say Sharks just because they’re called Sharks and Great Whites are awesome. However, their failing playoff history dictates that they don’t have what it takes to make it past the first round. 

Meanwhile, the Canucks haven’t suffered a losing streak of more than two consecutive games since early March. There’s also the scary offense provided by the Sedin twins. It is true that the Sharks swept the Canucks in the regular season, but once you hit the postseason, regular games go out the window.

I’m going with Vancouver, and the series probably won’t last very long.

ALLISON: CANUCKS over SHARKS

Even though I think Luongo is a baby for whining about not being traded, I’ll hand them the win. Wonder if he’ll change his tune if they make it to the Cup again? 

(4) ST. LOUIS BLUES vs. (5) LOS ANGELES KINGS

NUGS: KINGS over BLUES in 5

This is an anticipated replay of last year’s Semifinals, where LA swept the Blues and then went on to win the Stanley Cup. There’s no doubt that the Blues are ready to jump back in and do some serious board checking.

However, the Kings’ 8-0 record against St. Louis doesn’t lie. Their stellar defense and Conn Smythe-winning goalie Jonathan Quick should be more than enough to take the Blues down again. St. Louis may be pissed and looking for a win, which may lead to a longer series, but the Kings should easily move on to the second round.

ALLISON: BLUES over KINGS

I feel like the Kings probably won’t repeat their triumphant win last season. I’ll give this one to St. Louis.

There are our predictions. The first games are tonight and tomorrow, with the Western Conference airing later at 8pm and the Eastern Conference airing on Wednesday. Like I said, we're more than likely way off base, so feel free to pitch in with your comments below.