DON'T HATE

I know I'm due for another blog post. I didn't die or anything, but I do have an excuse: I've been too fucking busy. I do have a life, you know. I've been moving, and I was on a plane all day yesterday. I'm currently writing one, and it will be up by sometime tomorrow.

So, a couple of distractions for you guys today, while you patiently wait:

I've been given my second-ever blog honor! McGriddle Pants at Serenity Now!! Insanity Later has decided that I'm funny enough to grace me with her ROFL award. I've only been a blogger for the past six months, so I'm guessing that two awards in this short of a time period is some sort of distinction (my first one came from Annabelle over at I'll Tell You Anyway). If it's not, just roll with it and let me think I'm important.

I'm awesome.

So I know you guys are still waiting for my post. Sorry. In the meantime, I've asked my friend Mei from Diary of a Fair-Weather Diver to dangle a guest post in front of your faces until mine goes up. She agreed to help me out, probably because she felt bad for showing me that picture of that fucked up kangaroo a while ago that totally freaked me out.

Here's her post. Enjoy, and I'll see you soon. Promise.

I know I was supposed to write a post about cat toys and chicken tenders.

I talked a bunch about doing a guest blog for That Ain’t Kosher when I was coming off the high of writing a post based on the words “monkey” and “robot.” I ended up posting/boasting “why don’t you just give me some random nouns and we’ll see what I come up with.” Someone came up with the awesome nouns of “cat toys” and “chicken tenders.” Turns out she would have just let me off with a movie review. Who wants easy mode anyway? So here’s the obligatory shout out to your nouns:

My cat’s favorite toy is… me. Apparently being chased by someone who is yelling “rawr” and stomping a lot is super fun. So fun that I drew a picture of it.



Enough of kitty fun time. I hate eating meat off of bones. I think it’s gross, and I also hate gristle. (Apparently I’m kind of a crappy carnivore) You may wonder where I’m going with this, and it comes down to one fact. I thought I hated buffalo wings. Turns out I was horribly horribly wrong. Someone, somewhere had the fabulous idea to invent something called boneless buffalo wings. Two years ago, a different random person introduced me to these little pieces of heaven. After that, for roughly the next 9 months, I would only choose places to eat that had good boneless buffalo wings. Then I would eat a bunch of them (with extra buffalo sauce, none of that wussy ranch or blue cheese for my dipping pleasure!). MMMmmm. Though it does turn out that if you eat them too close to bedtime, they cause pretty traumatic nightmares. Good to know!

Thankfully the freak craving for buffalo wings has mellowed, and I now eat other food once again. But it is always nice to know that when the subject of buffalo wings comes up, as it often does in conversation, that I can now contribute meaningful comments. And I don’t have to sit there and explain that I like meat, but not tendon, and veins freak me out….

(We’re making the jump here that buffalo wings are close enough to chicken tenders to count. The Wing Coop sure thinks they are… but just in case that wasn’t close enough here’s a bit more.) It really freaks me out that McDonalds advertises “white meat chicken nuggets.” Why do they feel like they have to emphasize that?? What the hell was in them before?? I haven’t been able to eat a nugget anywhere since they started this campaign. Someone should tell them that their advertising is being anti-effective!

I had something else that I was going to write about, but in thinking about buffalo wings and chicken nuggets I seem to have forgotten what it was. I guess I’ll just have to write another guest post some other time when I figure out what it was I wanted to say. It’ll probably come to me mid-shower in the next few days. That’s the best time for thinking… (contrary to popular belief)