Now that Labor Day weekend has come, raided the liquor cabinet and gone, the state of California is really driving it in that summer is over. Today I woke up to disgusting clouds and an absent sun, and the prediction for the next ten days doesn't look much more promising.
And here's the forecast for New York City for the next week and a half, according to weather.com.
What the fuck, Southern California??? My friends back home are supposed to be jealous of me, not the other way around. Do you think that just because little kids are forced to ride the school bus again you can just take away shorts and beaches and shit? NO. It's bad enough I spent the entire summer here; why don't you just bend me over and hit me with a paddle some more? You fail at life.
However, I do need to take into account that this may be because the entire state of California is just really fucking weird. The reason I always carry my camera with me is not because I may cross paths with a minor, F-list celebrity. It's because I'm a blogger, and the crap that I see around here is so ridiculous that I couldn't make this shit up and I need documentation. For example:
The other day I was on a supermarket run, and within five minutes I had photographic evidence of some glorious gems that I knew I would wind up posting on this site sooner or later. Observe:
I swear to God that's real. Hemp Milk. That you can drink. I can't even imagine finding that anywhere else. I really want to buy this just so I can save the packaging forever.
Hemp milk kind of makes sense here. When I was filling out all those job applications and it had that "have you ever been convicted of a felony" question, all of them actually said, "California applicants: do not include marijuana charges." I'm serious! I wanted to put down something like, "Really? Sweet!" I remember before my dad moved, he used to live a few blocks away from a medical marijuana "clinic." Right. "Clinic."
Anyway, at least I'm finding humor in my less-than-ideal situation. I knew that being a partial LA resident would at least provide some fodder for the blog, and really, I couldn't lie about this shit if I wanted to.