Thursday, September 02, 2010

ALWAYS USE PROTECTION


Summer may be over, but I'm not that depressed because today marks the beginning of COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON!




I'm a relative newcomer to the NCAAF scene; I've only been a fan for the last couple of years. It began when I first lived in LA and I couldn't watch my beloved Jets games as they weren't broadcast on the West Coast and I was too broke for the million dollar DirecTV football package. LA doesn't have a pro football team, and I couldn't bring myself to root for San Diego because they're in the same conference as the Jets. I had to do something, though- I was going through major football withdrawal.


Luckily, people that live in LA have two NCAA teams to choose from- the Trojans (USC) and the Bruins (UCLA). Around this time, Mark Sanchez was still in college and therefore still playing for the Trojans, who I was already slowly forming an alliance with because some of my friends had gone to the school and also because the team was named after a condom. Then came the NFL Draft, and Sanchez moved on to the Jets. BAM! I was sold.


I tried to give a shit about UCLA, but they barely even register and aren't even in the power rankings. So while there is a rivalry between the two schools, I could really care less. I do have friends that go for UCLA, so they've probably already stopped reading. Whatever. Asshats.





The Trojans/Bruins rivalry is actually pretty funny because while Bruins fanatics hate USC, Trojans fans really could give a crap about UCLA because UCLA sucks balls. It's kind of like watching one of those cartoons where the tiny dude rushes at the massive giant and the giant holds the smaller guy off by putting a hand on his face.


The Trojans open their season tonight against the Hawaii Warriors and my team is favored by at least 20, because Hawaii blows. Awesome. It's on ESPN at 11pmEST/8pmPST.


Not my actual shirt, but close enough.




There's also another NCAA team that I root for, the Florida Gators. Before you're all like, "Of course, because they're awesome, blah blah," I think you actually know me well enough to know that I'm not one of those stupid bandwagoner idiots.


When I was a kid we had two dogs that were the most awesome, adorable dogs ever, and one of them was constantly happy and smiled all the time. Whenever he made that face he looked exactly like an alligator, and the Florida logo reminds me of him.






Florida Gators logo...
And my puppy.


Dude. It's uncanny.


My love for the Gators used to be based solely on my memories of my childhood pet, but it grew due to the fact that the team has been consistently performing in the power rankings. As a result, I really fucking hate Alabama, who knocked Florida out of the championships last year. Alabama is predicted to be number one again this year, which massively pisses me off. The two teams are set to have a repeat showdown on October 2nd, and I really hope it's broadcast here because I might riot if it's not.


Anyway, I'm really psyched for tonight, which consists of Futurama and the Trojans season opener, which I can't afford to attend so I'll have to settle for checking it out on my couch. This blog is going to get really sport-y in the coming months, so I'm giving you a heads up NOW.


FIGHT ON!


7 comments:

Nicole said...

I don't really care about football, in general, but I miss the absurdity of that "rivalry." When I was in elementary school, the teachers and the T.A.s would get so into it. I assume they play each other once a year because there was always one day a year where everybody showed up decked out in USC or UCLA gear.

MrsCaptKerk said...

I don't follow football, and I will be honest it took me a minute to realize that you were talking about Los Angeles and not Louisiana. Hello airhead!

Rahul said...

A college football fan in LA? These exist? I just imagined we were like unicorns and rainbows.

I'll be at USC's first home game next week. Will I remember it? No. Tailgates are the birth of awesomeness.

PS. Tony P's in the Marina is the Florida bar. If you care.

Sara said...

So I don't really do sports but OMFG, that puppy is so cute!! I bet that was a good dog who didn't shit in his kennel all the time or knock crap off the coffee table with his stupid huge tail or jump all over the couch with his dirty dog feet. Stupid Penny Lane.

(I think you should probably leave at least one little "nugget" (tehe) each post for me that's not sports-related much like the dog in this one. I've got to have SOMETHING to comment on and I obviously know nothing about sports.)

That Ain't Kosher said...

@Nicole- it's pretty awesome that your teachers got into it. Mine were super boring.

@The Mrs.- HAHAHA! That's pretty awesome. I do stuff like that too, sometimes, but I don't admit it. You're pretty brave.

@Rahul- I'm so jealous that you're going to be there. I won't, b/c I'm broke. Also- thanks for the heads up; I have to find that bar.

@Sara-You're right, he was a good dog and he and my other dog were the love of my life!

Haha... I should totally start dropping you little clues like on FB. That would be awesome. HAHAHAHA... nuggets.

Mei said...

Bleh, football...
But I do like dogs!
Thanks for stopping by my blog hop!!!
<3
Mei

Beat 'SC said...

Friend, you asked for this. Clearly your football-centric interpretation of the UCLA-USC rivalry has impaired your understanding of it. It is not a FOOTBALL rivalry. It is an everything rivalry based on a proximity of 12 miles, which is VERY close by LA standards. Sure the Trojans may be better at football, but these schools compete in 18 varsity sports. Count 'em. EIGHTEEN. Plus there are other factors. Private vs. Public, UCLA has 10,000 more students, USC has 24% acceptance percentage vs. UCLA's 22%, they shared the same football stadium for 52 years, the Victory Bell, most wins vs. most consecutive wins, 2006, they play ridiculous pranks on each other and vandalize school landmarks to show school spirit, etc. etc. Congrats on O.J.! And just to show there's no hard feelings, enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Y2fdYMYpEM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktWawQWk-HI&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiZzGwADxvc&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEtp0v86-nw&feature=related