Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Hot Fuzz

About a week ago I saw a commercial for the HP Envy Ultrabook. The product didn't impress me all that much (everyone knows that I'm a total whore for Apple), but the song used in the ad left a lasting impression. Unfortunately I couldn't get my Shazam up fast enough, so I was stuck looking for it online.

I had no idea how to accomplish this- I didn't know the name of the song, and I also had no clue who the fuck the artist was. So I texted Rio from Good Music, Bad Math and asked him to give me the name of a site that would point me in the right direction. He sent me to Yahoo! Answers and told me that not only would someone probably be able to assist me with my query, but it was also a goldmine of stupidity when it came to the postings on that site. The categories on Yahoo! Answers cover basically everything, ranging from Sports, Travel, Entertainment & Music, Food & Drink, Business & Finance, Politics & Government, and my personal favorites, Pregnancy & Parenting and Science & Mathematics. The level of idiot that I found while perusing through the questions on there was absolutely mind blowing. I think I must have forwarded Rio like eleven of them before he started totally ignoring me.

The greatest request I found on Yahoo! Answers, and possibly in the history of the American education system, was this one. I didn't even believe it myself after staring at it for a solid two-three minutes so I screen-capped it so you all could confirm that it is, in fact, real:


I don't know who wrote this but I think they are actually 100% serious. I wonder if they know Amanda Bieber. Also if you Google this, it has its own category (type in "yahoo answers walk on sun").

Since this is apparently for a "seasns" test (I'm guessing "science," but it's been a while since I was in school so maybe this is a new subject that I don't know about), I'm actually going to help this person out and let them know why walking on the sun is an impossibility, unless you are Smash Mouth, and no one cares about them.

1) The sun is super far away, like at least 100 miles, so driving there is kind of a pain in the ass. Also it's really round, so good luck finding parking. 
B) It's a gigantic ball of gas, so it smells really bad.
ARCTIC FOX) It's hot there all the time. I guess you could go at night though, or in the winter, like a few virtuosos suggested. 
DD) The only food that the sun likes to eat is Raisin Bran, so it's probably a cheap date and doesn't tip well.

What a dick.

If you still can't believe that anyone could actually be this dumb, the link to the original post is here. 'Merica.

BTW, I did find my song. It's "Promises," by London dubstep band Nero, and it is an awesome addition to my gym playlist.


Allison said...

Your Raison Bran joke was amazing. High five.

Nugs said...

I'm especially proud of that one. Also, I now have a craving for Raisin Bran because I haven't had it in FOREVER.

Ginny said...

I would like to say that I agree with your tweet. Walking on sunshine is an awful song. This promises song is very much not though.

Nugs said...

I will always trust your taste in music-ness (mugasms?) ever since you introduced me to La Roux. Every time I hear that Bulletproof song I miss your face. :(

Also full disclosure: I have Walking On Sunshine on my iPod. Music Fail.