Every year, my family bets on which Major League Baseball team will be the best in every division, win the pennant and ultimately dominate the Fall Classic. If we're feeling really ambitious, we add special categories such as Most and Least Improved, and we also try to guess who will be awarded the Cy Young and MVP. I usually school everyone, but my brother recently joined in so my track record's been slipping the past few years. We claim that this is all just for fun, but I never learned the true meaning of that word so the loser's self-respect and dignity is usually at stake.
Last season I propositioned my friend Johnny Sacks, the creator of Living With Balls, to get in on this with me as well, and I'm ecstatic to report that he got his ass kicked. You can read the full post here.
This year I've been less inclined to watch as many games, as my Mets are fucking humiliating and therefore I know that they're not coming anywhere close to relevancy. Lily likes to make fun of me, but seriously, Lily? You're a Cubs fan and are obviously just bitter and hateful.
Chicago Cubs Official Site. This is just sad.
I'll put up a more detailed post this weekend predicting my winners and losers for the entire postseason, but here's something I thought of first, just for fun, letting you all know which teams are acceptable to root for. Thanks to Alexandra, the only entity associated with Philadelphia that doesn't make me want to dry heave, for putting up the article that inspired me to write this.
I'm a Mets fan. Fuck those guys.
I'm pulling for Baltimore for a few specific reasons:
1) They almost, almost managed to steal the AL East from the Yankees, until of course Jeter and Co. managed to wrestle it back. Whether they accomplished this through a hefty payment plan or sexual favors remains to be seen.
B) This is the first time the O's have achieved anything of this magnitude in almost thirty years. Who knows when this will happen again? Plus if Baltimore winds up playing DC in the Fall Classic I might get to think of a cool name for the Series. Any ideas?
The only real beef I have with the Reds is that I didn't pick them to make the postseason this year (I narrowly went with Milwaukee for the second Wild Card), and then they did. So I feel kind of like I got the shaft, and not in a sexy way. Other than that, though, I have no issues with rooting for them.
This one was kind of a lock, wasn't it? I would have to say that I'm down with cheering for this team. I love their manager, Jim Leyland, who's like a hundred years old, and with the Lions cratering after a promising 2011-12 season, Detroit could use a boost in morale.
NEW YORK YANKEES
Supporting the Yankees makes you a horrible, soulless minion of Satan that also probably listens to Justin Bieber. This is never OK. Go to jail.
The one year I don't go with the A's for "Most Improved," and they finally make the playoffs. Just out of spite, I'm going to go with NO. I hope they fail.
SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS
San Fran won the title two years ago, so it would be nice to see someone else get a crack at this. Other than that, I have nothing against them.
ST. LOUIS CARDINALS
The Cards are matched up against Atlanta for the Wild Card as I type this, so I'm rooting for them. Because seriously, FUCK THOSE GUYS.
The Rangers are so good that I feel like they'll have plenty of chances to get to the World Series. You can root for them, but there are so many first-timers on here, or at least teams that haven't had a crack at this since I watched Maleficent turn into the dragon. I much prefer to go hard for Baltimore or Detroit.
Not the Yankees, though. Never, ever the Yankees.
While it is true that the Nats share a division with the Mets, and therefore by all intensive purposes I should hate them, the former Montreal Expos went from supremely sucking to holding the best record in major league baseball. It'll be interesting to see what they can do with this, and honestly, the Mets are so bad that there was really no competition anyway.
I'm going to end this so I can have it up in time for the end of the game, and also so I can find out who you guys are rooting for (Yankees/Braves fans need not apply. Even you, Tits). Check back in a couple of days for my intelligent, researched, thought-provoking analysis of the 2012 MLB postseason, and feel free to leave your choices in the comments below.