Friday, June 15, 2012

All Apologies

I got really bored at work today, because it's a day that ends in "Y" and therefore I have nothing to do but sit around, look up asinine shit and harass Coyote Tits on Facebook. I was perusing the celebrity gossip sites, pretending it's "for research" (hey, I work for a film company!), when I found this on Dlisted.com. It's a screen capture of some idiot tweenybopper's (let's hope) Twitter feed, and frighteningly, I actually think whoever wrote it is 100% serious:


Welcome to our future, ladies and... well, clearly not ladies. And also, no gentlemen, either. So... toddlers? Chihuahuas? Fans of the Alabama Crimson Tide? (Fuck those guys! Go Gators!) Miley Cyrus?

Sounds about right.
Upon closer inspection of this mystical revelation posted by "Amanda Bieber" (I'm guessing not written on her birth certificate), I realized that her tweet did not, in fact, make me mentally implode as much as I expected it to. Now, before you're all like, "What the fuck?"; just hear me out, and draw your own conclusions:

1)  Read it over again: this girl's logic may be exponentially flawed, but her grammar and spelling are impeccable. So at least, you know, there's that. Yay, education?



B) This incredibly discomforting Twitter post just proves that Kurt Cobain, who I grew up rocking out to even after his death, really did predict the future with his words. Observe some lyrics from Nirvana's massive classic hit "Smells Like Teen Spirit":

Load up on guns, bring your friends 
It's fun to lose and to pretend 
She's overboard and self-assured 
Oh, no, I know a dirty word 


With the lights out, it's less dangerous 
Here we are now, entertain us 
I feel stupid and contagious 
Here we are now, entertain us 



Almost twenty years later, we have "Amanda Bieber." I think I'm done here.


PS- shit, I'm old.


SHARKTOPUS) We can all rest assured that one day, this delusional moron will eventually die. Also, so will Justin Bieber. 


You can all check out Dlisted's original post here.

6 comments:

Elle said...

All I can do it shake my head side to side. xo

Jas said...

Dude. When Kurt was alive, DOS was still a BIG DEAL. The fact that Amanda's Beaver brought Twitter into the conversation just proves that we will never be short of the people we need to spin "SELL YOUR GOLD" signs on the side of the road while they dance to "Baby."

Dave said...

The thing is, even if Twitter had been around in the 90s, I bet Kurt Cobain would have had no interest in using it anyway. If anything, Courtney Love would have been using it on his behalf or some such crap, but let's not get started on her...

Nugs said...

That's what I'm thinking Kurt Cobain had a totally different fanbase that probably would have had no interest in Twitter. Also, hi, TWENTY YEARS AGO.

Dumbass.

Ginny said...

I know I was a tween once but I was never that stupid.

I don't think Kurt would have used twitter as others have said and there really is no comparison on the who has more talent front.

Kimmie said...

maybe miss beiber just got her braces tightened while some Nirvana was playing on a "classic rock" station (shudder...how is it possible that the music of my youth is now deemed vintage??).