Wednesday, February 02, 2011


Hey, Guys.

Welcome to this month's installment of the Horrible Movie Review Blogring. I never took the time to think of a creative title, and honestly, I'm way too lazy. If anyone has any ideas, I'll accept them, no credit given questions asked.

This month, we all reviewed shitty romantic comedies in honor of Valentine's Day. The theme changes every time we attempt this, so if you want to be part of this innovative conception, drop me an email- The swap list goes up on the 21st of the month and the postings go up on the 2nd.

I created this blogring so I would have an excuse to review the epic Academy Award winner Thankskilling (and not look like a total psycho) after discovering it on McGriddle Pant's blog, and this month, I'm all energized and shit to have her join in the merriment and post her rom-com review for me. In fact, it's almost arousing. Read on; she's hilarious. And when you're done, why don't you meander on over to Coyote Rose's place and witness me destroy Valentine's Day? I'm still recovering.

When charged with the daunting task of reviewing a RomCom for my super-fun-number-one blog friend Nugs @ That Ain’t Kosher, I was super excited! So many ridiculously unrealistic, boring and all around craptastic movies to choose from! Which, in itself, was a bit overwhelming. I mean, honestly almost any Katherine Heigl movie would be a prime choice. Then I made the mistake of Googling “shitty romantic comedies” and so many cinematic delights popped up. But the worst part was that most of the top shitty pics were movies I actually liked. Oh dear.

One movie in particular that I pretty much hated from the get-go was How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I mean, I could write a book on how to lose a guy in 10 seconds, who needs ten whole days? So I decided to watch yet another Kate Hudson/McConauhey debacle called Fools Gold.
The synopsis according to Rotten Tomatoes is thus: A new clue to the whereabouts of a lost treasure rekindles a married couple's sense of adventure -- and their estranged romance.
Talk about a recipe for comic GOLD!!

First off, there’s nothing a girl likes better than to see a shirtless, sexy, tan man in the first .00045 seconds of a movie (much like men like to see boobies – see: Thankskilling). HOWEVER, seeing Mr. McConauhey shirtless is about as new and exciting as watching the Kardashians hock diet pills (or shoes… or clothes… or booze…) Its tired. And as for the two of them? I felt like I was watching an episode of Jersey Shore, as the two stars overly tanned, overly taught skin was sickening.

Excuse me... I just threw up a little in my mouth.

You’d think that with the premise of multiple underwater fights, high-speed shenanigans involving motor scooters, Jet Skis and prop planes, that this would be a fun-filled Actromedy (Action-Romantic-Comedy; yes, I’m allowed to make up words.) However the two leads, who were mildly more electrifying in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, appear to be failing a class in high school chemistry. Even the villains are too goofy to provide any real sense of danger.

Look, Nancy Drew... A CLUE!

I’ll be honest, I took a phone call, went to the bathroom without pausing the flick, refilled my beer glass multiple (five) times and even dozed off once. So maybe my opinion is moot.
Will Finn and Tess find the treasure before the bad guys? Will they put aside their differences and rekindle their love?

Yes to both questions!

No, I haven’t spoiled anything, by the way. But perhaps I’ve saved you some trouble.

--McGriddle Pants


Coyote Rose said...

I have actually seen Fool's Gold, and besides the fact that it is totally Historically inaccurate (but then most movies are), it is as bad as you have described.

The best part of the movie is the first 10 minutes before you realize what a piece of crap it is.

McGriddle Pants said...


hahahaaa. Is it shameless to admit that I re-read this and laughed out loud?! Nah!

And I'm SOOOOOOOO doing this next time too!

March for..... The Leprechaun movies? (I think there's 5 now) Shitty Irish actors? Shitty American actors with shitty Irish accents? Oh there's so many choices!!

Sara said...

This was hilarious. Great job, McGriddle Pants. :) Can't wait to see what movie you pick next time!

Paige said...

ug....i wish i didnt suck at life and always miss new posts!