YOU SNEAKY BITCHES

So there have been some changes around here.

The first thing you've all probably noticed is the new layout. My ADD kicked in and I got bored with the old look, so I decided to switch it up. The brilliant new tagline is a direct quote from Coyote Rose, and the new epic header was designed by Lor, who wouldn't let me near a Photoshop program by myself because I have no fucking clue what I'm doing.

I FINALLY have a webcam! I know, hello, 21st century; I'm only 11 years late. I got one of those Flip things about a week ago and almost threw it against a wall trying to open that front piece where you put the battery in. I called Bad Monkey, who besides being really, really hot is a total tech genius, and not only did she set up my Flip cam, but then showed me the built-in webcam that comes with every single Macbook. Free.

I fail at life.

Less noticeably, there's been a substantial change to my blogroll. Recently there was a thread posted on 20sb entitled "Ha! Skinny People Are Unsuccessful." The contributor was someone who always posts threads she believes are "controversial," when in fact, the topics just make her look like an uninformed idiot and are really just an attempt to gain followers.

The "Ha!" at the beginning was what really pissed me off. Look, I can't help being really fucking small. Those of you that have seen me eat know that I love me some food. (According to some of you that have "tried" some of the meals on my plate, I have the tendency to "fork-jab." Liars.) I'm far from the underachiever described in the posts, and I don't appreciate some bitter asshole making fun of me because she forgot to go the gym today- or all year. She also argued that as bloggers, we aren't responsible for our words, which is just a ludicrous claim. They may be just words, with no physical presence, but they DO have an impact, and they can be hurtful. Check out this winning smackdown:

"You ARE responsible for your words, standing up for them (hopefully, in a rational manner), explaining them, retracting them or simply ignoring your critics. Don't hide behind "I'm not socially correct! I'm a free thinker! I don't need to be responsible for what I say!"'


Nice job.

A shitload of my other friends at 20sb also weighed in to essentially call this girl a moron. My favorite quote came from Tsa at The Tsaritsa Sez:

"If I posted a thread with the title "Fat People are Unsuccessful, haha" I would expect to have my head bitten off by other 20SBers. I hope you get yours ripped off. What a pointless and mean thread."


I love you, Tsa. You are the wind beneath my wings (why the hell do I know the lyrics to that song? Shame).

The worst part is that not only have I hosted this retard on my blog before, but I was one of her followers and featured her on my blogroll. No more. She's been deleted. I refuse to give you guys her name because that would be letting her have all the publicity that she was gunning for, but I linked to the thread above, so you'll probably see it anyway.

To replace the one I took away, I've added one of my friends' links: Ms. Medium.

I've mentioned Ms. Medium before- I met her through Ginntastic a couple of years ago, and she's been blogging for a few months. The reason she's so amazing is because she writes even though she's had dyslexia since she was a kid, and she's uneasy about how her grammatical skills will be received. If you have a problem with that, go fuck yourself. I'm really proud of her for overcoming her disability and blogging for the general public. In fact, I may even ask her to do a guest post for me.

In other, less stabby news, the 20sb Annual Bootleg Award Finalists were announced this week. The nominations are pretty brutal- a lot of my friends are up against each other in most of the categories. I basically just covered my eyes and started clicking. Honestly, I couldn't even tell you who I voted for. I will say, however, that my campaign to pimp out Coyote for Sexiest Blogger is well on its way to becoming a reality.

I also noticed that in the "Most NSFW" category, enough of you made sure to throw my name in there, and I'm officially one of the finalists. I know I'm not going to win, because the other bloggers on the ballot are much filthier than I am, but it's nice to know that you all really do relish in my dirty mouth and fluent Brooklynese.

Because I have access to this new Flip, a bunch of you have gotten super excited because you assume this means I can finally do the Karaoke Ring of Death. Apparently Nips and Coyote are already planning my epic foray into the MP3 world of singing and dancing, and I've been clued in to the fact that I don't have a choice and can't back out. I guess I'll be subjecting you all to my angelic set of pipes and glassy redeye next month. Try to keep calm and you know, not jerk it too hard.

I totally hate you guys. You sneaky bitches.

Oh, PS- all of you NEED to be watching Archer. It's absolutely fucking hysterical. If you've never seen it, here's a link to the greatest clips from the show. The season premiere already aired, but FX replays all their shows 900 times.