SCOTT PILGRIM VS. MY LOINS

Today was a big day for me because I actually had some stuff planned. It's Friday the 13th, and every time one of those comes up, I make it a point to watch the movie (the real one, not the stupid, shitty one that just came out). I usually watch the original Friday the 13th, which, let's be honest, is the only one that doesn't suck, and sometimes I throw in Freddy vs. Jason if the mood hits.

It was also an interesting opening weekend for the cinematic box office. There are three big films that came out today, all geared towards a different demographic. I'm intrigued as to what's going to take this one.

The movie that most of my girlfriends are tweaking out over is Eat, Pray, Love, that nauseating Julia Roberts movie that the studio had better hope makes a shit-ton of cash because of all the promo they've done. I personally can't stand Julia Roberts because she never shuts up about how great her life is and how everyone should love her even though she's done the same movie over and over for the last fifteen years.



I really hope this doesn't claim the number one spot on Monday, but I kind of angrily suspect that it will. The only reason I'm looking forward to Eat, Pray, Love releasing into theaters is that the sooner it comes out, the sooner it leaves, and we never have to hear about it again.

Except for the DVD release. Shit, I forgot about that.

Anyway, I'm waiting for a movie called Eat, Sleep, Fuck. I'd definitely go to see that. Especially the "sleep" part- that's where I'm a Viking.

There's also a movie that's specifically geared towards dudes and that's The Expendables. I actually want to see this and that's due to the fact that my boyfriend, Jason Statham, is in it. He of course doesn't know he's my boyfriend. I might decide to tell him eventually, but I like my relationships to have that element of surprise.

I might go see this next weekend, but I'm a little apprehensive. I went to the last Rocky and the whole time I was looking at Stallone like, "Dude, you're sixty. Please, just stop." I was a little scared for him, like he might break a hip. I might decide to wait and just Netflix it or something so I can fast-forward to whenever Jason Statham is on the screen without his shirt on, because you know that's going to be in there.

For me, of course, this weekend's major release (pun intended) was the nerd epic Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. I prepared for this movie like it was a first date or a job interview. Last night I went to Fandango and checked for the earliest possible showtime, then picked out my Karate Kid t-shirt to wear to the movie to proudly display my geek solidarity. I woke up at 9am to get to the 11:00 show 45 minutes early to make sure it wasn't sold out. Since I had almost an hour to kill, I stopped at Barnes & Noble to pick up a fantasy football guide because it's almost time to set up my team.

I got a few good trailers- including one for Devil, the upcoming M. Night Shyamalan movie. It looked pretty cool until I saw the "M. Night Shyamalan" part. That ruined it for me. His movies blow.

There was also a preview for that stupid Drew Barrymore movie with the guy from the Mac ads. Normally I can't stomach her and her dumbass chick flicks but this one has Charlie from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. That's the funniest show on TV right now, so while he's not enough to make me pay 12 bucks, I might rent the DVD when it comes out two weeks after the movie hits theaters and inevitably bombs.

So, Scott Pilgrim.

I almost lost my shit when the movie opened with an 80's-Nintendo version of the Universal Pictures logo, complete with the music. Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) is in a band, and the lead singer is named Stephen Stills. I was the only one in the theater who laughed at that- did no one else get that reference? Even Moviefone's article, "Every Scott Pilgrim Video Game & Pop Culture Reference," missed that one, too. I refuse to believe that I was the nerdiest person watching that movie. Either that, or I'm just REALLY getting old.

Anyway, Scott Pilgrim is stocked with geeker joy- not only is it based on the second in a series of graphic novels, but the whole movie is a gigantic 80's video game, complete with sound effects and animation. It reminded me of when I used to kick ass at Super Mario Bros., Duck Hunt and Mortal Kombat. Two of Ramona Flowers' (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) evil exes are played by two big names in the world of movie superheroes (Brandon Routh is a former Superman; meanwhile, Chris Evans was Johnny Storm in Fantastic Four and just hit the jackpot with his casting as Captain America- don't even get me started on that one, BTW). Not only that, but the soundtrack is amazing- the music was written by Beck, Broken Social Scene and The Pixies.

The opinions on Scott Pilgrim have been mostly favorable, but I've read a few of them that seem to have been written by reviewers who just don't have any business watching movies in this genre. Anyone who refers to Scott Pilgrim vs. The World as a "comic book movie" clearly doesn't get it- there's a distinguishable difference between comic books and graphic novels. Comic books are stapled together like magazines and are mostly found only in comic stores and newsstands, whereas graphic novels are bound like books and are longer, and are generally sold in bookstores and specialty stores as well as comic shops and OH MY GOD I just found another reason why I'm single.

Anyway, the best part about Scott Pilgrim, besides the fact that it was obviously made specifically for losers like myself who are always anxious to embrace their love of 80's geekdom, is that it's one in a series, so if this movie does well, which I'm guessing it will, chances are that there could be sequels. I will be at every single one of them, on opening day. Nerd-tastic FTW!