Monday, August 02, 2010


Guess what time it is?

It's time for SHARK WEEK, motherfuckers!!!!!

Last night was the start of Shark Week 2010, and I was so excited I couldn't stand it. When I woke up I jumped around in the kitchen where my dad was eating breakfast and yelled out, "Shark Week tonight!" He stared at me like, "WTF?" He definitely thinks there's something wrong with me.

My friend L and I anticipate Shark Week every year. She lives pretty far from me so we watch it together every night over the phone. We were totally prepared- we updated our Facebook statuses and changed our profile pictures to the Shark Week logo. We had Shark Bites snacks and chocolate wine. Fuck, yeah. We were ready.

Snack Time!

Shark Week is awesomer than my birthday and Chanukkah combined. I'm aware that "awesomer" is not a real word but Shark Week definitely deserves its own dictionary. I'm not the only one that thinks so, either. Here are some other ways that the world is choosing to celebrate with me:
  • I found a hilarious description of Shark Week on (read the "Ultimate Air-Jaws" part- I laughed my ass off).
  • has an incredible drinking game that includes changing the channel every time they show those pussy-ass nurse sharks that don't eat people. This might be the coolest idea ever invented.
  • The Discovery Channel Headquarters in Maryland decorated its building with an inflatable shark named Chompie. Here's a photo:
Check out the shark in a business suit. No one's fucking around with that guy.
  • Craig Ferguson is hosting this year. Not only does he have a shark puppet in his regular arsenal, but if it's possible, he just got even more awesome.
Here's a video of Brian The Shark.

2010 Shark Week has a bunch of new shit, including Ultimate Air Jaws, Shark Attack Survival Guide and Day of the Shark, which sounds like a kick-ass (read: super-retarded) SyFy Channel movie. And if that weren't enough, the Discovery Channel website offers a feature called "Shark Yourself," where you can turn a photo of yourself into a shark (note: I actually did this).

Shark Week, I'm going to ask you nicely to stop being so bad-ass. I'm already planning for 2011, and I don't think I can handle this much excitement.


Anonymous said...

I have no idea what shark week is, but you make it sound so cool that I feel like an ass for not knowing what it is. Mainly because I love fruit snacks, and I'm sad that I was not aware of an opportunity to eat more fruit snacks. And that building with a shark on it is pretty awesome.

That Ain't Kosher said...

Do you think sharks know that they're awesome? Do you think they swim around all day like, "I'm a shark, bitch! Yeah, I said it."

Just something to ponder.

Hotcakes said...

i aslo dont know what shark week is, but yeah it sounds awesome!

that picture of a shark building looks cool too!

CkretsGalore said...

Yes, I have never heard of this "Shark Week" but I am intrigued.

The Shark bldg made me laugh so hard I squirted a little (I'm doing a cleanse.)..OOoooOoo TMI? My bad.

Bo said...

Must. Get. Cable.