This is not an April Fool's Day joke, yo. I know what you're thinking.
I'm not going to be one of those bloggers that's all, "sorry I left," and then offers up a bunch of shit reasons as to why I haven't posted in almost a year. The truth is, you probably don't care, and after a few
Yeah, well, I am sorry. It turns out I do have a soul- or just a Jewish mother who practically took a class in guilt-tripping and was all like, "at least let your adoring public know that you're not dead." I tried to explain that I don't have an adoring public, just a few people who really wanted me to start writing again (one of them, my friend Jorge, is one of the new additions to my blogroll- more on that later. You can blame him and Coyote Tits for being the two who really got my ass in gear. Tits' definition of "loving text messages" are "I don't see a post from you yet, bitch." Disclaimer: we may both have been slightly hammered at the time.
So, right- the vanishing act that I pulled back in August. When I last left That Ain't Kosher I think I had just moved back to LA. I was still sponging off both of my parents, hoping for either a) that sweet unemployment check or b) that my extreme flexibility skills would finally come in handy in the job market ("able to put legs behind head" combined with "ninja napping" would have definitely worked if I took over HR, is all I'm saying). I'd been promised a new job in California but based on the stellar track record I'd experienced I was basically planning on hitting up all the local fast food chains I could think of.
So far, this work situation has been a relatively cush deal- I'm the right hand to the CEO at an indie film production company. When I'm not working from home (which means sleeping in!), I sometimes get to travel to cool places like London, and if I'm there long enough, I'll get to go to all the film festivals next year. I also get to read scripts before they're developed, and I spend a lot of time doing nerdy shit like research and designing spreadsheets, which is pretty much my sexual chocolate.
|Someone please buy me a shirt that says this. I'll be yours forever. KTHNX. <3|
Speaking of working from home, I'm finally back in my own place! My girls in the Nip Clique have been fostering my
|Oh haaaai, future alimony check.|
Oh yeah, my birthday- so that happened. I have nine months left of my second decade. I'm turning thirty in January.
Anyway, I haven't been totally away from the blogging community. I've still been pretty active on 20sb, and I've even tricked some of you into thinking I deserved a Bootleg Award (technically, I wasn't a Last Chance Blogger yet, so I can take it again this year! I'm starting my campaign now. I have cookies). I'm also still 1/5 of the Snark Squad- we also won a Bootleg for Best Group Blog, which was truly awesome. You guys are the best.
So I'm back. I can't promise anything life-changing or even eloquently witty, because I am definitely not yet back in the game. I can, however, give you an updated TAK, like changes to the blogroll and a new layout (soon! I promise), SMAC and quite possibly Aural Sex, epic guest posters and the eventual return of my acerbic humor and inappropriate commentary. I promise I will never, ever leave all of you for this long again.
Transform and roll out.