All Tagged Up (Ye-Yeah)

Apparently while I was gone I was tagged by a couple of the Nip Clique girls in two separate memes. Hey, don't blame me; I was busy neglecting my blogging responsibilities and being all corporate and shit. I'm finally getting around to it now so my friends don't hate me forever. At least not for that.


Anyway, the first one comes from Harley at 1, b, Platypus, and the only reason I realized I should address this one first is because there are dates on everyone's posts. (I know, I know. I'm still getting guilt trips from everyone about my eight-month absence, but I only have so many booby shots to go around)


The second one is from Lor at Late to the Party. It's essentially the same, only the number of questions/tags is higher. Harley's has four for each step, and Lor's has 11. So I'll combine them both, and do seven for each. Yay for math skillz!


Here are the rules, and I WILL do all of them because Jewish guilt is a motherfucker:

1. Put the rules of this Tag on your blog.
2. Everyone tagged should tell 7 things about themselves, answer the 7 questions asked by the person who tagged you, tag 7 other people and ask them 7 different questions.
3. Let the people whom you tagged know you've done so.
4. Don't tag anyone who's been tagged before.
5. Really do tag 7 others, and don't go all "if you want to, take this tag".

OK, so Part One is done, and I didn't even have to do any work! Sweet. 

Part Two:

Seven Things About Me:

1) I 've had the same stuffed dog since I was a baby, so, pretty much my entire life. His name is Dave, and he goes everywhere with me. Literally. I mean, not literally- I don't take him out with my friends or anything, but I do bring him when I travel or go to my parent's houses and stuff like that. He was also a member of Sara's Virtual Wedding party. If my house were on fire, he's the first thing I would grab.

Oh, I lied- I did take him out a few times. He's been a real hit with the ladies; not so much with the dudes.

Dave LOVES carbs. Just like his mom.

He also sleeps with me, which means he's seen some incriminating stuff that he is WAY too young for. I'm sorry, Dave. <3

B) I was once asked how many action figures/robots I have in my collection. At the risk of losing my street cred, I counted, and came up with 16. If you'd like a full list, just ask. I am neither embarrassed nor ashamed. I also own a pretty impressive jumbo shark. 

He was actually named by Harley: TONY SHARK,
for the Marvel Comics character; or, if you wish, Robert Downey, Jr.

BABY LEMUR) One of my life's goals was to see Austin, TX; Chicago, IL and New Orleans, LA before I hit thirty. I accomplished that (!), most with the help of Nip Cliquers Sara and Lily.

DD) I kick ass at blackjack. Really, I am THAT good.

FAST FIVE) I had a pet frog as a kid. He was supposed to live for a month, and he lasted a year. I wish I had pics of him, but I don't. Sad.

SIX IS "SEX" IN NEW ZEALAND COUNTING) You know, I think I'll make that my fact. I'm running out of ideas.

AND UH, 7) I am terrified of bugs. All bugs; doesn't matter how big or what color. A few weeks ago there was one in my shower. I think it was a cockroach, just hanging out under my bathmat, waiting for me like a little evil Nazi. I kept going in there and checking on it but it was still alive. What if it was a girl bug, and it grew and gave birth to little bugs? Finally I turned the shower on and it drowned, and I killed it and it died. That's when I knew it was a boy bug, because it shriveled up and collapsed when it saw me naked, but no matter. IT WAS DEAD! 

I was so happy! I was a superhero!!!! I called all my friends and even my parents but they were all underwhelmed. Fascists. 

I swear this is what it was doing.

Seven questions I'm answering out of obligation, taken from both Harley and Lor:

1) What would you like your last meal to be? You can have as many courses as you like.

This is an easy one- since this is my very last meal, and carbs and/or fat content don't matter, I would call my mom and have her come over and cook for me. Then she would make me her Macaroni Casserole, which is an amazing pasta dish she's been making for me since I was a kid, and her mashed potatoes, which I've been trying but failing to replicate since I learned how to turn on a stove. I won't provide recipes here, since no one can duplicate them anyway.

2) And, keeping with the theme, what food will definitely be served in hell?

PICKLES. No question.

I remember when my family and I all used to go out to dinner and my brother used to put his pickles on my plate because he thought it was SO hilarious because I hate them THAT much. Pickles are so awful. They are the spawn of Satan. It's like, if puppies rode golf carts in Hell pickles would be the gas that drove said golf carts.

OK, that made no sense. But you know what I mean.

3) If you could travel back in time, what time would you visit?

I would find out the exact day and time that Justin Bieber's parents met, down to the second, and stop that travesty from ever occurring so he would never be born.

No, wait- I would prevent his grandparents from ever crossing paths, just to be safe. 

4) If you could make one book/movie character real, and bring them into your life, who would it be?

This is tougher. There are so many books and movies that I love. Obviously any Ryan Gosling character, but only if he showed up at my door with no pants on.

Do comic books count? Because the apparent answer here would be Superman. I just hope his "faster than a speeding bullet" deal doesn't apply to ALL aspects of life, if you get what I'm sayin.

5) What keeps you awake at night?

My neighbors, having house parties at 1:00am. Really dudes, some of us DO work.

6) You can only watch one TV show for the rest of your lives. Which do you choose?

Game of Thrones. That show has so much badass in it I don't even know where to start.

And finally...

7) Dean Cain and I are going to grant you whatever super power you want. What do you choose?

This is where I again point out the fact that I am already a superhero.

OK, no, but Sara really wants me to talk about the time when we were in NOLA and some crazy-ass psycho bitch totally tried to follow us back to our hotel and I was all, ASPHINCTER SAYS WHAT? and she got scared of me and ran away. I totally saved our lives, yo. What is that bug from my bathroom doing now? That's what I thought.

Also Nicole drew this picture of me like, a year and a half ago:

That's Nicole being awesome in the background.

Nicole lives in Paris now, which is like, twelve hours ahead of me or something. So clearly, she can predict the future and knows what's up.

Seven Not-So-Innocent Victims I'm Tagging:

Jorge @ Every -ist and Every -ism (he named this post, BTW. You're welcome, all)

Jas @ Smile Big and Pretty

Natalie @ Awkward Sex and the City

Allison @ My Quarter-Life Crisis

Rio @ Good Music Bad Math

Penny Lane @ The Chronicles of a College Girl

Booya Bobby @ BooyaBobby

And here are your questions:

1) If you could only listen to one band or artist for the rest of your life, who would it be? (This may sound unoriginal or boring, but all of you probably know that I would give up all of my intact organs for a chance to see Radiohead live, so this question is extremely important to me. I have ended friendships over this.)

2) Who is the most vile celebrity on the planet right now? (No points for Bieber, because that's pretty evident) 

3) What was/is your college major? Would you have picked it again if you had the chance?

4) What's the most unintentionally hilarious movie you saw in the last five years?

5) Pork: Noun or verb?

6) Pick a type of chocolate to eat forever. (I bet you wish I'd tagged you back, don't you Lor?)

7) When was the last time you really had your heart broken? (It doesn't have to be relationship-wise. Like, this JUST happened to me when my brother told me that he'd cleared out his garage and all my stuff, that they'd been keeping in storage, was gone.)

Have fun! And if any of you I didn't tag want to answer these questions in the comments, feel free.