Wednesday, May 05, 2010

IT TURNS OUT I DO HAVE FEELINGS. DON'T TELL ANYONE.

OK, what the fuck, Lost?

Let's discuss last night's episode and how it toyed with my emotions- it turns out that yes, I do have them. Every Tuesday I either get together with my brother or we text each other back and forth about what to expect when we turn on ABC at 9pm. I usually stay away from the spoiler boards and he doesn't, so he tries to avoid giving shit away before it happens. He did, however, let me know that some "major deaths" were coming up.

I knew I should expect a body count, because there were four episodes left of the series, but seeing how well I took Juliet's demise (read: not very; she was my favorite female character along with Sun and I am still a Sawyer-Juliet 'shipper), I was really dreading The Candidate. When Juliet died I was in a room full of people, though- at least I would be watching this one alone so I wouldn't totally humiliate myself.

I got really excited at one point when I thought Kate might eat it hard, but instead everyone rushed to save her when she got shot. Ugh. So annoying. Go away, Kate. No one gives a shit about you. Literally- there have been a few characters this season who have made a point out of telling everyone that Kate has no purpose and they don't care about her. Haha! Everyone who watches this show is going to be so happy when she finally gets killed.

After it became pretty obvious that Kate wasn't going to get offed, I started to get really nervous. That left all the characters I actually liked. I had already ruled out Jack, because everyone figures that he's probably sticking around until the end. I was already praying that Sun and Jin would make it out, but since I love them, I knew they had to go. I had no idea about anyone else.

When Sayid blew himself up I didn't cry so much as stare at my TV with my jaw on the floor and think, "they did NOT!" It definitely took a few seconds to process and when it did, it hit hard. I've always been a Sayid fan, even during that ill-advised Shannon phase. At least now this means she probably won't be back.

That's just the way it is.

Then Frank got smashed by that door. That was sad. I never really got too into him, but I didn't exactly wish that for him, either.

RIP, Lapidus. You were pretty awesome.
The worst part of the whole episode was definitely Jin and Sun. They had a long, painful, drawn-out death that left me blubbering like the biggest little bitch on the planet. At around 10:10 I even got a text from my friend that read, "you're crying, aren't you?" I replied, "No." He called me out with, "Lies." I had no recourse. That a-hole.

I hadn't even gotten over the shock of losing my favorite TV couple before ABC cut to a stupid local law firm ad. The music just randomly cut out! What the hell! I just sat there with teary eyes with the image of two illuminated Kwon hands still in my head, the Jin/Sun theme from Season One playing in my brain.

Seeing this picture just made me tear up again. Damn you, Lost writers!
The floodgates didn't really open until the rest of the characters started sobbing hysterically. Even Jack started crying, and that was when I lost it. Goddammit, writers! Why must you do this to me? Was I really mean to you in high school or something?

I feel your pain, guys.

How dare you, Darlton. How dare you introduce me to these people, let me hang out with them for six years and brutally snatch them away from me. How dare you leave little Ji-Yeon an orphan. How dare you make Jack a total tool for five years and then make me like him when there's only three weeks left. How dare you not make Jack give Sawyer mouth-to-mouth? (I was really looking forward to some homoerotic porn.) And how dare you develop a TV show that would make me discover emotions I never knew I had? That scares the shit out of me, Darlton, and it's all your fault.

I'm so obsessed with this show. It's really pathetic.

3 comments:

Ginny said...

I was a blubbering fool! The minute that slow death piano music started oh man.

In the time span of like two minutes bam! Three people dead.

And Kate can eat it. She should have eaten way back in season 1.

No One Reads The Copy said...

Totally, totally agree on Kate. Does ANYONE like her?! For a moment, because I knew people were going to die tonight, I was like, oh wow, they're going there! They're going to kill Kate!!

But no. Sadly.

(My favorite character has always been Locke. He's just so pathetic and thus, endearing to me.)

thataintkosher83 said...

No one likes her. Her teeth are so white and so distracting.

Ugh, just kill her already.