Tuesday, May 11, 2010

BIRDS! BEES! BOOZE!

So I have this friend; we'll call her "V," because I looked for a random letter on my keyboard and that's what I typed. V and I met because we both have media-related jobs that are mostly male-dominated, so we bonded pretty quickly. V is definitely my rock in this shitty economical turn of events- she's snarky and cynical and we mock all the same pop culture abhorrences. Whenever I'm having a crappy day I text her and command that she "say something funny-" and she does.

Recently V and I had dinner right before one of her events. We exchanged stories about all the usual life crap- family, work, the latest episode of Chuck- and then the conversation turned to various coworkers on both our parts. V confessed to me that she worked with one guy who she had a mad crush on- it was now to the point where every time she saw him she did a Conan-style "If They Mated" in her head. FYI, she did inform me that their kids would be stunningly beautiful.

It started out small- she just used to think he was kind of hot. Then it escalated- apparently, this guy is kind of a slut, and every time he brought around a girl (or six), V would get insanely jealous. Now it's to the point where she's actually imagined herself living in his apartment with a ring on her finger. I know her, and this is not normal.

V is really level-headed, and she usually stays away from guys that scream "player!" However, she swears that sometimes it seems like he really is hitting on her, and other times it's like they're engaged in a normal conversation. She has no idea what to think, and it's killing her.

At my old job, there was a girl who hooked up with both members of a firm that we represented. The team actually broke up because of it, we lost the client, and the girl got fired. My boss immediately implemented a pants-down policy: get caught, get canned. I also have a friend who's employed by a major corporation and has no problem fucking everyone with a penis that walks past her cubicle- clients, coworkers, whoever- and posts all her exploits on Facebook, pictures and all. Obviously her bosses don't mind; as she's still working there. I myself have never gone the distance with anyone I've worked with- yeah, I like dudes, but I like having an income more. Everyone probably does it, but I'm not very stealth and I would definitely get busted.



That's not to say I haven't come close, though. I've worked with a bunch of really attractive guys, and in a co-ed environment, the temptation is always there, unless said environment is the nursery section of a hospital. A lot of companies have anti-fraternization policies, and even if they don't, business-place hook-ups generally don't conclude with weddings and kids. From what I've seen, most of them end in awkward water-cooler avoidances and evil stares over the copy machine.

Sexual tension? Probably not.

It's not just us, either. I watch all those nature specials- I really don't want to quote that heinous Bloodhound Gang song, but they do have a point.

Those sluts.

So what do you guys think? Should my friend go for it? Is it really that awful to get with someone at work? She'd really appreciate some advice, probably so she can blame someone else if anything gets really fucked up.

I told her to adopt a couple of bunnies and live vicariously through them.

4 comments:

Ginny said...

hmm well this guy is already bringing other girls around so I would be worried but if she likes him that much it might be worth a shot. She just has to keep in mind that if it doesn't work out she will probably still have to face him at work. If it was me and I really had the hots for him I would probably go for it but he sounds like fling material not relationship material

No One Reads The Copy said...

Tell her not to!!

It never, never ends well. Restraining orders in some cases - never mind awkward exchanges!

There is a girl I know who slept with a guy at work and she gets a Basic Instinct scary look on her face whenever he's mentioned, especially when he brings his wife and kids in for a visit/lunch/company function.

And she's the butt of everyone's jokes. Not him. So..... not good. Stay away!

thataintkosher said...

I think she's smart enough not to, but it might be one of those situations where she just wants to "alleviate the sexual tension."

I hope she doesn't get herpes- it's like Jewish moms. They leave, but never go away.

Sara said...

Typically, I would say leave it alone. But I met my fiancee at work so... you never know!