OOH... THREE STRIKES!

Don't call it a comeback... really.

Those that know me know that there are a few things that get me really riled up. One is child beauty pageants. Another is the state of the film industry (what the hell is up with all these remakes and sequels?), and the big one, the one that will really get me in your face, is when anyone insults any of my sports teams. I was raised as a huge sports fan, and I don't appreciate being reminded when the teams that I root for suck.

There's this other blog that I visit pretty frequently called Living With Balls. The guy that keeps it is pretty hilarious, and the only real beef I have with him is that he's a huge Yankees fan, but hey- no one is perfect except for me. One of his latest posts was titled "Love or Hate the Yankees?", so I had to comment. Miraculously, I managed to keep it pretty civil. I basically called them out for buying 20-year-olds while ignoring their growing problems and having those bimbo fans that pretend to know about baseball because the Yankees are the most famous team in professional sports. I did, however, cop to the fact that my lifelong Yankees hatred could be partially due to my love for the Mets. See? Everyone wins!

Yesterday I went back to that post to see if anyone else hated the Yankees, and some girl had left an essay-length rant entitled "Why You Can't Hate The Yankees" (I'm sorry, I didn't know it was illegal. I'll stop immediately). She went on to pick apart the Mets in a dissertation that made no sense, spouting off crap she obviously got from watching five minutes of ESPN.

See, kids? It's worse than drunk driving!

I didn't want to start any shit on somebody else's site, but in my own blog I can say whatever the fuck I want, so I've copied her asinine response (her bullshit is in bold) and I'm addressing it here. I did leave a short answer telling her to calm the fuck down on the other site, but now I'm just going to go nuts. I hope she stumbles across this, so I'll address all my comments to her.

Here's my original comment (which he agreed with, BTW):

Don’t kick me off your site or anything, but I hate the Yankees. Not because I’m a Mets fan (that’s probably part of it though), but because they’re the Hugh Hefner of professional sports. Instead of dealing with their 80-year-old roster, they go out and get 20 year olds with their jillion-dollar payroll. Also, their fans are incredibly annoying. They’re always screaming about their 27 championships and God forbid they don’t win? The fans won’t shut up about how they were “robbed.”

Also, the Yankees are always the team that girls who don’t really like baseball always go to in order to impress guys. You know the ones- “I love baseball! I like when Derek Jeter scores a goal in the Superbowl!” Derek Jeter and A-Rod are always the only players they know because they’re “hot”, but try asking these idiots what positions they play. They’re always wearing the stupid pink sparkly Yankees hats and midriff tops at games. Ugh.

And that is why I hate the Yankees.

And here's her ridiculousness. Just for fun, let's see how many grammatical errors you guys can point out. I've done the first one for you.

girlygirl520 says:
WHY YOU CAN’T HATE THE YANKEES
1) Many girls who are Yankee fans are NOT like this. Those are not Yankee fans, those are bimbos. I am a female and have shared many of John’s nostalgic moments watching the Yankees with my grandfather and uncles… Yankees were a bloodline. I watched Chuck Knoblouch screw up many easy plays in the outfield, Scott Brosius, Tino Martinez, Bernie Williams, Paul O’Neill and countless others that I “fell in love with” prior to Derek Jeter ever becoming the name he is today create magic memories. TO THIS DAY, one of my favorite Yankee memories is watching the 1996 World Series with my family…

Can you read? I never said ALL female Yankees fans, I pointed out the select morons, which appear to be around 90% of all their female "fans." You're obviously not one of them; congratulations. By the way, your name-dropping isn't impressive. Move to LA, where people care about that crap. Also, learn proper grammar; your "create magic memories" sentence doesn't make sense.

2) If you notice, these “female fans” are becoming the trend among all baseball teams because bottom line girls who want impress guys and besides sex, baseball is a man’s turn-on. For the Mets, David Wright and Dan Murphy have become to the male icons for female sexual fantasies (and of course, girls studying aimlessly about their history to impress a guy). I’m sure it’s not as evident because the Yankees AND their fan base are more under the microscope than any other baseball… or sports organization… in the world. Just to give you an idea, I know quite a few people that work for the Mets Organization that are females that are David Wright fans not because of his stats but because of how his ass looks in his pants, and how he “sticks it out while at bat.” They also probably couldn’t name more than 4 more pple on their team either.

OK, A) who thinks Daniel Murphy is hot? And B) I also have a friend who works for the Yankees Organization who's banged half the guys on the team, including your precious Paul O'Neill, and still doesn't know the trade deadline. I agree, all teams have girl fans like that, but they're much more rampant with the Yankees. BTW, trying to scalp tickets in the Citifield parking lot doesn't mean you work for the Mets Organization. Try again.

Ugh. You KNOW she has a shitload of these.

3) As a Met fan, let’s look at how your organization spent their monies the last 5 years in order to do exactly what you claim the Yankees have done which is buy championships. (Buying 20 year olds to make up for their 80 year old roster… Franco, anyone?) The last upstanding season produced from the Mets is probably the Epic 3rd pitch past Beltran in the 2006 Division Championships… the pitch heard round the world. From 2007 to 2009 the team has seen an epic collapse. I for one have worked at the Met Organization last year, and do you know what chorus echoed in the former Shea stadium and current new Citifield? “Yankees suck.” Despite adding another title to their tally, I believe Met fans have much more to worry about than how the the “Yankees suck.” The Mets suffered one of the most epic collapses in history last year after Sports Illustrated projected them as the World Series champions, after going out and buying and trying player after player while more injuries plagued their staff, after widespread hirings and firings of coaches, trainers, and everything in between… no one can still fight that the Mets have had their share of overpriced contracts in which most of these individuals still sit on the DL list…. Beltran and Reyes still remain out in the beginning of 2010…and Murphy has recently added to that list. And SINCE I was a Yankee fan that supported the Mets organization, I watched all of the behind-the-scenes footage of what the Met organization is and what it is trying to be. Despite the fact that you and every other Met fan may disagree, the Mets Organization is trying to make the Mets the Yankees version 2.0… from building a stadium filled with nostalgia of their epic past, a Rotunda that houses a player that has no affiliation with Mets baseball (only simply because shea/citifield are off the Jackie Robinson pkwy) trying to implement a “no smoking policy” in the beginning of 2009 in the birth of Citifield which was thrown out quicker than Bobby V when he argues a call, and possibly the best, Fred Wilpon suspending 2 employees last year for putting fans in a shot with shirts that read, “I’m still calling it Shea.” I’m sorry, but shouldn’t the Mets fans be allowed to celebrate the good memories about their baseball history? Not if you are Wilpon, focus on their future which up to this point has not looked so good.

This part really pissed me off. First of all, how can this moron say that the Mets "bought" championships when we haven't won anything in ten years? I never claimed we were a better team than the Yankees- I'm not retarded. I am aware of our epic collapse over the last few years and I hate the fact that my heart has been continually broken come October. I am, however, saying that it's a fact that Major League Baseball is basically the farm team for the Yankees because of their bazillion dollar payroll. Every team has overpriced contracts and aging players, but the Yankees are known for it.

Also, if you really were so in the loop with how the Mets spent their "monies" (god, that sounds so pretentious), you would know that the Wilpon family got raked by Madoff and has no money to spend. "Yankees 2.0," my ass.
Shea Stadium, while iconic to Mets fans, was a piece of shit. The seats were disgusting and it smelled like the town really should be named "Flushing." It was time for a change. Why wouldn't the stadium be filled with "Mets nostalgia?" It's a METS STADIUM. What team should it have, the Indians? Yeah, the no-smoking thing didn't work out so well, but so what? The entire city has a no-smoking policy, and that's why it was attempted.

Also, how can a true Yankee fan work for the Mets? I would never be employed by the Yankees. You should be scalped.

4) If you think a Yankee fan is annoying, you should really see how Met fans operate when Yankees win in games that have NOTHING TO DO WITH THEIR OUTCOME. If you walk out of Yankee stadium during a Yankee loss, people may cry “we were robbed” but you won’t hear us screaming “Mets still suck” because in the long run, the Mets or Yankees have no bearing in the outcome of their seasons, The only time this rivalry should ever reach this level is when the Subway Series makes its way round. EVERYTIME I walk out of Citifield or Shea there is always some Met IDIOT fan screaming “Yankees suck”… I’m sorry did I miss something? This is not like the Rangers and Islanders playing in the same league and directly affecting each other , and you certainly do NOT hear Giants or Jets fans screaming Giants suck or Jets suck… and I have COUNTLESS MET FAN FRIENDS that watch EVERY Yankee game with the opportunity to write “Let’s GO Boston, or F–K THE YANKEES” on their facebook page, their away msg, their bbm status, their Myspace page, or Twitter it for the next 3 days….” HELLO?!?!?! As a Yankee and baseball fan in general, I find it quite humorous that SO MUCH ATTENTION is put into the Yankees if they are truly an overrated team. Let’s not forget, that overrated team also put a halt to your Championship dreams in 2000.

First of all, "championship dreams?" Let's not overreact. And I didn't forget- that's part of the reason we don't like each other. Ass.

One of the greatest things about professional sports is the rivalry that's built up between teams. It's part of marketing. Let me explain it to you:

MARKETING (n): The activities of a company associated with buying and selling a product or service. It includes advertising, selling and delivering products to people. (dictionary.com)

Building up sports rivalries is one of the best part of sports marketing, at least for me. When I go to hockey games with my brother, we get in huge arguments about the Rangers and the Devils. I love going over to my dad's in a Jets sweatshirt because I know he'll be wearing a Giants hat, even though technically there's no beef between the two of them because they're in different conferences. Rivalries are a way to put asses in seats. The Mets and the Yankees play in the same city, and therefore have a clash. Also, you obviously forgot about interleague- we do play each other, twice a year.

BTW… if you think there are a lot of girls wearing midriffs and tube tops rooting for the Yankees, you should see how many of those exact same female Met fans exist screaming “Yankees suck” because their creatine-filled boyfriends are dong the same…. and how many of them are wearing heels and dress. I know because I went to the opener yesterday, and there is quite a few…

With your last two comments on so-called Mets fans, you have just described every Yankee fan I have ever met in my life. I have never seen any girl like that at any Met game. Everyone I know who roots for the Yankees has an obnoxious sense of entitlement- they think it's their job to win every year. They get in your face and go into annoying detail, just like you, about why every other team in baseball doesn't matter, or worse, is trying to copy them. No one is trying to copy you- they're forming strategies and making the best possible moves that will get them to the World Series. Stop spouting off shit that you read in Sports Illustrated (which is an incredibly biased publication, anyway) and form your own opinions.

Just to let you know, by the way- the handle "girlygirl" isn't helping your case. It's like Charles Manson going by the name "Totally Stabby!!!" and then trying for an appeal.

The link to the original post is here.