CELEBRATE WITH BOURBON

Assuming you were one of the 70 bajillion people who watched the Superbowl last night, who were you rooting for- the Colts or the Saints?

HA! Both were wrong. The correct answer is the JETS. It is always the JETS.

A couple of months ago I had dinner with a bunch of my girlfriends. This was right in the middle of the football season, and it didn't look good for me, as I'm a long-suffering, die-hard Jets fan. Sitting with me at the table was also a Colts fan, a Bengals fan and my friend Tammy, who's from New Orleans. We got into a long discussion about her team, "the 'Aints," and how they make the entire state of Louisiana cry. They were doing well this year, but she was trying not to be too optimistic, given their track record.

Flash-forward two months, and the Jets have beaten the Bengals, the Colts have beaten the Jets to win the AFC (and I have thrown shit against my wall) and the Saints have beaten the Colts to become the new Superbowl champs. Holy shit, no one saw that coming. Congratulations, Tammy. I owe you a beer...or six.




I look forward to Superbowl Sunday every year- I consider it a national holiday. Even when I don't necessarily care which team wins, I always find someone to root for. This year, the Saints destroyed the Vikings, and I hate Brett Favre, whose old-man ass ruined the Jets last year; and the Colts knocked out the Jets for the AFC Championship, so I was totally going for the Saints. Plus I knew it would be a great game- both teams are pretty evenly matched in both offense, defense and coaching, and I was pretty sure it wouldn't be a very high-scoring game. I was actually predicting somewhere around 24-21.

The game itself was, in fact, pretty amazing. The Saints came back from a 10-point deficit in the first quarter to win with two touchdowns in the second half. The most mind-blowing moment came in the very first second of the third quarter with that oneside kick made by the Saints that gave them change of possession and their first lead of the game. It was definitely a "WTF?" moment. I'd been watching ESPN coverage all morning and NO ONE predicted that the Saints would win the Superbowl- that one play changed everything. The Saints seemed to be such sentimental favorites that I wondered if the Colts would actually get booed if they won.

What was really surprising was that, unless I missed it, the camera never once panned to Kendra Wilkinson, who's married to the Colts' Hank Baskett, or Kim Kardashian, whose boyfriend is Reggie Bush of the Saints. That was disappointing- my friends and I had a whole drinking game planned for that! The battle between Kendra's ginormous fake boobs and Kim's epic ass could have been the real Halftime Show- hell, that could be the SyFy Channel's next movie. I'd watch that.

Speaking of the Halftime Show, The Who is always great- I've loved them since my parents took me to see Tommy when I was a little kid- but here's my beef: Did they really have to play the songs that just so happen to be the three theme songs from all the CSI's? I understand that this is CBS, and that those are coincidentally three of their most popular songs, and I really shouldn't complain, because Baba O'Reilly just happens to be my favorite Who tune. But no one tells The Who what to play. If Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey want to come onstage in a dress and heels surrounded by a litter of puppies, you say "OK" and shut the fuck up. Other than that, though, they sounded awesome.

And BTW, what the fuck was up with the commercials this year? I've always had a soft spot for the Superbowl ads because they're responsible for my love affair with football. In my second year of college, I took an advertising class where my professor gave us an assignment to watch the Big Game and write a paper on which ads were the best and the worst. My intention was to TiVo (ha! remember that?) the actual game and watch the commercials, but I actually found myself drawn in by the action. It was the Patriots vs. the Panthers, and my dad hates the Patriots, so he got really into it, and so did I. Later I remember it being referred to as "the greatest Superbowl of all time." Now, as a Jets fan, I still hate the Patriots, and rooting against them is a great bonding experience for my dad and I (even though he's a Giants fan- sucks to be you, Dad!).

Anyway, the commercials really sucked ass this year. I'm not big into this feminist bullshit, but there were a lot of really misogynistic ads. I have a ton of girlfriends that watch football and enjoy it just as much as my guy friends do. That one commercial where the guy was forced to go underwear shopping with his girlfriend really pissed me off. Another shitty one was the Coke ad about Mr. Burns. Come on- a Simpsons cartoon with no voices? What a waste.

The movie trailers were disappointing, too- Alice In Wonderland looks boring as shit. Tim Burton needs to stop.

There were some ads that I liked, though- the Denny's one with the screaming chickens running around, especially the silent one in space? I don't know why, but I thought that was fucking hilarious. Maybe someone slipped something into my drink. Another good one was the one for Dodge, with the guy making all the promises- especially the one about watching the "vampire shows." That part was great- vampire shows are horrible.

I liked the ad for Google because it seemed to cater to the women that watch football, too- there are some of us, you know. The commercial had no actors, just the Google icon showing a male exchange student's journey through Paris as he meets a girl, asks her out, marries her and has a baby (spelling stuff wrong), using the Google search engine. It was sweet, and seemed almost out of place for a Superbowl ad.

However, everyone will probably agree with me that the best (and most hysterical) commercial was the Snickers ad with Abe Vigoda and Betty White. The concept was a little ridiculous- you'll play football like an old lady if you don't eat Snickers- but she made it awesome. The best part was when one of the players says, "you're playing like Betty White!" and she says, "that's not what your girlfriend said!" I love Betty White- everything she does is great. She even made The Proposal watchable because she has no shame. You can see the ad here.



So that's my (abbreviated) Superbowl recap. Check back in next February when it's the Jets against someone in the NFC.

PS- in case you were wondering, I also DVR'd the Puppybowl.