Oh, Canada! The Sociopath Edition

I was at work yesterday, screwing around on Facebook and not doing anything at all incriminating on the interwebz, because that would never happen, when this viral image popped up absolutely fucking everywhere.

God, I would still hit that. Early and often. I am such a sociopath.

Apparently this is a promotional poster for Only God Forgives, the next collaboration from Baby Goose and his Drive director Nicolas Winding Refn, which was already enough to get me running to the theater. This was filming in Thailand (BANG KOK? Clearly not just a clever name) when I was supposed to be there for the film festival last year but the trip fell through. Good news for Ryan, not so good for the rope and chloroform industry. Did I say that out loud? I mean no.



They also put this out, so I feel (slightly) less crazy:

Here's the official summary on Wikipedia:

According to a production synopsis, the film follows Julian, who runs a Thai boxing club as a front organization for his family's drug smuggling operation, as he is forced by his mother Jenna to find and kill the individual responsible for his brother's recent death. 

Ryan Gosling as Julian:

• An Englishman who lives in Bangkok and "is a respected figure in the criminal underworld" according to a production synopsis.Gosling had undertaken Muay Thai training in preparation for the role by that September, which included 2–3 hour daily sessions.

So basically what this is saying is that Ryan Gosling wears a wifebeater, kicks random people's asses and speaks in a British accent for two hours? I'll be sitting in the back by myself. Also that crashing sound you just heard was every single pair of panties I own falling to the floor in anticipation.

There better not be any puppies or babies in this movie. I might die.