This led to an epic chain of events that includes this video that doesn't make me a pedophile;
and culminates (so far) with this scene from the best film released in 2011 that did not result at all in my ladyboner.
Also none of my friends talked to me on Facebook at all today inquiring when this post was going to go up. Kitty and I in particular did not have this conversation, which never made me sincerely question the validity of what I used to consider our very close friendship:
Nugs: Today is Ryan Gosling's birthday
If I get arrested will you bail me out?
Nugs: Why do I think you're lying?
You're totally going to call the cops
Nugs: Maybe he likes handcuffs
I couldn't tell even though I've been hiding outside his house for a week I mean no
Can you imagine if I knew where his house was?????
*extremely long pause*
You're forwarding this conversation to the government, aren't you?
Kitty: I kinda do
It's near one of my friend's places
in Beverly Hills (that is RIGHT NEAR ME OHMYGODKHDUYWTEYEUWGDYGFDCBCHDHHJ)
HOW HAS THIS NEVER COME UP???????????
WE ARE NO LONGER FRIENDS.
I told my dad about this, by the way, and he just gave me a horrified look and went, "NO." Bobby asked me what I wrote on the card when I mailed him a chloroformed cake and nudie pic. Shut up! You guys don't know my life.
Also also- this:
|I don't even... I'm done.|
(Reminder- from the year 2000+ he is 100% legal. Party on.)