Since we're pretending you guys cared last time, we decided to do this again. Our picks, of course, are below, and you can also read Allison's version on her blog, My Quarter-Life Crisis.
Words cannot express how eager I am for the games to start. Not only did my Rangers make it in again (just barely; thanks for the heart attack, boys), but there are a bunch of teams that we haven’t seen in the playoffs in a while. NHL fanatics will also recognize each of the Original Six, and some possible historic rivalries if some of these seeds advance. There’s also NO PHILADELPHIA, which is just amazing. No one likes the Flyers. Not even their moms.
Also also- NO NEW JERSEY.
Basically the only relevant thing about this state isn’t even there anymore.
Sucks for them.
As always, Allison's forecasts are in blue; mine are in red. We're both probably completely wrong, but keep in mind that we're not getting paid so there's no money involved and no unicorns or anything like that.
EASTERN CONFERENCE
(1) PITTSBURGH PENGUINS vs. (8) NEW YORK ISLANDERS
NUGS: PENS over ISLES in 5
This is a compelling series for me because I have a
rooting interest in both teams. Even though there used to be an intense rivalry
between the Rangers and Islanders, the last time the Isles did anything of note
at all I wasn’t even a year old. My dad, however, is a major Islanders fan, and
almost sobbed with joy when they made the playoffs this year. So I would like
to see them advance, and maybe even play us. That would be kind of cool. The
Islanders are a good, young team with a lot of promise, and once they move to
Brooklyn in 2015, a solid antagonism should re-surface between them and the
Rangers.
Meanwhile, Iron Man is an
obsessive Pens fan to the point where we have a bet going: whoever comes out
higher this season has to wear a shirt of the other one’s team in public. I
realize now how stupid this was.
While the Isles have rocked the Pens a few times
this season, and they are riding on the incredible success of Center and
Alternate Captain John Tavares, the Pens are probably the team in the East with the most potential
to capture the 2013 Cup. They’ve been pretty much unstoppable all season, even
without Sid Crosby, who still set about a thousand records this season despite missing a third of it due to a broken
jaw. With the addition of Jarome Iginla, every other team in the East pretty
much went, “I’m done. Night Lois.”
At the very least, I can record Iron Man’s “So
Excited” dance and post it on Facebook.
Dammit.
ALLISON: PENS over ISLES
I will obviously choose Pittsburgh. Even without “The Kid” they’re a pretty dangerous team in the East.
(2) MONTREAL CANADIENS vs. (7) OTTAWA SENATORS
NUGS: HABS over SENS in 6
I knew Allison would be elated about this because
when we’re not discussing coffee, all she talks about is how much she's into the
Habs and how they embarrassed her last season. She probably died when they took
the number two spot in the East. What makes this even better is the fact that
they drew the Sens for round one, so Montreal has a pretty decent shot of
advancing to the Semifinals. Ottawa has excellent defense and some noteworthy
goaltending with Craig Anderson, but their top defensemen, Jason Spezza and
Erik Karlsson, are still nursing their injuries. Spezza is probably out for the
entire postseason, which may hurt their chances for advancement. Montreal is
the clear favorite here.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if Allison and I played each
other? Just sayin.
This is a bittersweet matchup, as I like both teams. But I must go with my one true love – Montreal. Montreal was one of the teams who really did benefit from the delayed season. We got a new coach this year who took a different approach to the team and it paid off very well. They’ve had a shaky couple of weeks leading up to the playoffs, but that final win against Toronto will hopefully give them the confidence they need to keep on going.
(3) WASHINGTON CAPITALS vs. (6) NEW YORK RANGERS (!!!!!!!!!)
NUGS: BLUESHIRTS over CRAPS in 6
You might be assuming
that I’m going with the Rangers here because I love them and won’t shut up
about how they actually made the playoffs this year even though they performed
like little girls for most of the season. Actually, yes. However, this is also
just like last year’s Number 3 seed, Florida, who only made the postseason at
such a high level because they happen to be in a shitty division. (The same one as the Craps, FYI)
This matchup is a repeat
of the 2012 semifinals, and the Rangers pulled out of that one with a
heart-stopping seven games. In 2013, both of these teams got hot at just the
right time and are now facing each other again.
The Caps, although
commonly referred to as The Crapitals, boast Ovechkin, who finished the regular
season as his old self. Their 26.8 percent power-play statistic might pose a
problem for my boys, who tend to falter in that area.
The Rangers gave me an
incredibly stressful four months, humiliating me by forgetting how to shoot and
score goals. We also suffered through a ton of injuries and the loss of fan
favorite Gabby,
who got traded to Columbus after a disappointing 35 appearances and then scored
them a game-winning goal. Naturally. When the season started Rangers fans
figured that the Stanley Cup was a lock; now we were hoping for a top 10
finish.
Then April came around
and the Rangers found their hot streak, ending the season as the sixth seed with
one of the league’s best defensive units and a late season record of 10-3-1. My
husband Henrik Lundqvist continued to act as one of the top goalies in the
league, finishing with a 2.05 goals-against. I was totally worried that I would
have to banish him to the couch this year, but I guess we can work things out.
 |
| So happy together |
At the end of the series,
the Rangers will come out on top (that’s what she said), and they’ll look to
show the Craps that they are, in fact, the better and more able opponent. The
series will go to 6 games, and I will be insufferably annoying.
The Southeast division was a sad state of affairs and the Caps were the only team to make the playoffs. Both of these teams have been inconsistent this year – but I’ll give the Rangers the win for this series.
Editor's Note: Yeah, thanks. We're going to destroy them, and then kill anyone else we play, too.
(4) BOSTON BRUINS vs. (5) TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS
NUGS: BRUINS over LEAFS in 5
When this matchup was
first announced, three thoughts went through my head:
1) This is great because it’s an Original Six series!
B) Tabs is probably
having a stroke right now because her Leafs are in the playoffs for the first
time since she can remember and
MALEFICENT) I wonder what
Allison is thinking, because she hates both of these teams with the intensity
of a thousand burning suns. Note to Allison: There is no option “you both
lose.” I learned this the hard way during the Yankees-Phillies World Series. I don’t want Allison to disown me or anything, but it would
be awesome to see a Semifinal round between the Habs and the Leafs or the Habs
and the Bruins. Those are two famous rivalries that I’ve always wanted to
witness in the finals. One of my favorite parts of the NHL playoffs is that
Enterprise commercial with the Montreal fan and the Boston fan standing next to
each other- a small nod to those who follow hockey and get the hilarity
behind it.
PS- It's Tabs' birthday today. Since her team probably won't win tomorrow, feel free to visit her blog and leave her inappropriate comments and pictures of adorable puppies.
This is so tough because I so passionately dislike both of these teams. Since Leaf fans are more annoyingly close to me in proximity, I’d like to see them go out in the first round. I reluctantly choose Boston to win this one. Plus they’re the better team. There’s no option for them to both be eliminated in the first round, which is too bad.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
(1) CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS vs. (8) MINNESOTA WILD
NUGS: HAWKS over WILD in 4
I don’t really think this
is a question here. I could go into a whole long thing (again, that’s what she
said), but I’ll just link you to this.
Yeah, no.
Obviously I’m picking Chicago. They were pretty much unstoppable this season.
(2) ANAHEIM DUCKS vs. (7) DETROIT RED WINGS
NUGS: WINGS over DUCKS in 7
This was a difficult
series for me to call. Most of my friends were divided. I originally said
“definitely Wings,” then I wasn’t so sure, then I went back to the Wings again
(in my defense, everyone should always go straight for the wings). While
everyone was so focused on the Blackhawks and their miracle season, Anaheim was
quietly climbing their way to the second place spot in the West, with 30 wins
and 12 losses. Meanwhile, the Red Wings managed to make their way into the
playoffs for a 22nd straight year, despite a lackluster regular
season.
The Ducks will put up an
impressive fight, since this is most likely Teemu Selanne’s final season and
he’ll be looking to go out with a win. First-year goalie Viktor Fasth has been
great in the net, so the key to winning this series will be Detroit’s killer
forwards in Henrik Zetterberg and Pavel Datsyuk.
Anaheim clearly has a
first-rate coach in Bruce Boudreau, but his playoff history is shaky, as he’s
never made it past the second round. The Wings have four Stanley Cups, with the
most recent one in 2008. This is a tough series to predict, but I’m leaning
towards experience with this one.
The Ducks were pretty lethal this year as well. As much as I’d like to see Detriot rise again, I’m giving this one to the Ducks. (Man, I wish they were still the Mighty Ducks).
Please let this happen.
(3) VANCOUVER CANUCKS vs. (6) SAN JOSE SHARKS
NUGS: CANUCKS over SHARKS in 5
Much like last year, I
really want to say Sharks just because they’re called Sharks and Great Whites are awesome. However, their failing playoff
history dictates that they don’t have what it takes to make it past the first
round.
Meanwhile, the Canucks
haven’t suffered a losing streak of more than two consecutive games since early
March. There’s also the scary offense provided by the Sedin twins. It is true
that the Sharks swept the Canucks in the regular season, but once you hit the
postseason, regular games go out the window.
I’m going with Vancouver,
and the series probably won’t last very long.
ALLISON: CANUCKS over SHARKS
Even though I think Luongo is a baby for whining about not being traded, I’ll hand them the win. Wonder if he’ll change his tune if they make it to the Cup again?
(4) ST. LOUIS BLUES vs. (5) LOS ANGELES KINGS
NUGS: KINGS over BLUES in 5
This is an anticipated replay of last year’s
Semifinals, where LA swept the Blues and then went on to win the Stanley Cup.
There’s no doubt that the Blues are ready to jump back in and do some serious
board checking.
However, the Kings’ 8-0 record against St.
Louis doesn’t lie. Their stellar defense and Conn Smythe-winning
goalie Jonathan Quick should be more than enough to take the Blues down again.
St. Louis may be pissed and looking for a win, which may lead to a longer
series, but the Kings should easily move on to the second round.
I feel like the Kings probably won’t repeat their triumphant win last season. I’ll give this one to St. Louis.
There are our predictions. The first games are tonight and tomorrow, with the Western Conference airing later at 8pm and the Eastern Conference airing on Wednesday. Like I said, we're more than likely way off base, so feel free to pitch in with your comments below.
There are our predictions. The first games are tonight and tomorrow, with the Western Conference airing later at 8pm and the Eastern Conference airing on Wednesday. Like I said, we're more than likely way off base, so feel free to pitch in with your comments below.
